Sunday, December 28, 2008

it's a new year in islamic calendar

today is 29 december 2008, three days to new year. However, in Islamic Calendar, today is a new year, 1 Muharram 1430H. There's something that i pray and wish for that i can't fulfill.

Awal Muharram is supposed to be a new platform ofr everybody.. so do i.. so i don't think i have to wait until 2009 appear. I'm praying that i will be a better muslim, wife, mother and daughter to all related people in my life.

2008 - the achievement?
- what can i write for the achievement? What's there for me to get it done when it was early 2008? But 2008 can be considered as my stress year. I have lots of things that i depressed of.. my works .. my life that i've got so much to do yet i couldn't do it... but the end of the 2008 is quite brightful..

2008 - i've been for an oversea trip for the first time and counting ... i've been to korea in May and Hk in November. The holidays were the most unforgettable memories in my life. Both of the visits were specials. Korea - that's where i want to go - the most, HK - that's where we did our travel on our own . we depends on ourselves and i was very happy coz no matter where we went, we still can perform our prayers as best as we could.

2008- spiritual - i felt quite bored with my works and workplace. I hate it the most when i've to do something against my principle. Even though, i went for an interview at the end of the year, still i haven't decide where to go. Ya Allah! Please guide me.


2009 - anticapations:

What's the main thing i'm anticipating for this coming new year?

1. To have better working spirit - no matter where i choose
2. To save lots of money -hoping that this year we won't spend money uselessly
3. This year - i'm planning to visit :
January - Bukit tinggi on 10th, Kuching on 17th and Azrah's birthday on 25th
February - nothing scheduled yet - but i'm planning to stay at home for the whole month and it's our anniversary
March - Singapore if possible
April - Nothing in my schedule. Maybe somewhere near
May - went back to Terengganu for the first time in this year
June - Stay at home and it's wan's birthday
July - I really want to go to Bandung, is it possible?
August - it's already fasting month and it's my birthday and harris's
September - Hari Raya - a lot to spend
October - hopefully that i can go to Mecca this year. Haji Akbar is expected this year. Insya Allah - Amin.
November - In Mecca - Insya Allah
December - Nothing Scheduled yet - maybe to Terengganu.

and it's already a year ....

4. I pray to have a good health this year
5. I hope that my kids will be very obedient and healthy this year
6. I hope that our family will be happy forever
7. I plan to buy new house this year
8. I plan and pray to perform Haji this year - Insya Allah
9. I plan to have better job this year
10. I plan to finish at least 2 of my stories... Insya Allah...

2008 - i did a lot of thinking during this year. I got the answer for some of it, i am still thinking for the most of it and i don't even have a clue for few of it... how tough.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Tgh menyibukkan diri

Sunday morning, while i was writing my Kisah Adam, suddenly my daughter came and said

"Mama, Kak Ani (my maid) nangis."
I wonder why. I never scold her until she's crying. Still wondering, i asked her.

While sobbing, she answered " Kakak saya meninggal, kak!"

I was speechless, then i just left her in her room still sobbing and talking to her relative in Medan.

My two kids try to so called 'comfort her' by staying by her side. I didn't know what to do. So i just let her be by herself and tried to bring the kids out of her room. But they refused. so i just let them be. In the afternoon, while she was already calm, i asked her.

"Ani nak balik ke?" she said never mind kak.

that evening, azrah got piano concert, i tried to asked her to go together, she refused, so i just leave her at home.

Azrah performed at 7.40 pm. Before the performing, she forgot her introduction speech, and she went like this

"My name is Azrah ...." she stopped and sighed "Mmmm"
She started once again " Hello, everybody, i am azrah ...." and again she stopped and sighed
"mmmmm ..... Hello everybody, i am azarh, today i'm gonna play twinkle - twinkle little star" finally she said with my help of course, while she's staring at my lips movement. Then she performed it solo. How sweet. Unfortunately, i didn't capture it in video format. they were only pictures. But i will post it later.

Then we went to have dinner, Azrah chose the place of course. We had siakap stim, tomyam, sotong celup tepung, kerabu mangga and telur dadar. We got back at home at 9 pm. When we arrived, Ani was nowhere to be found, before Azrah came and told me, "K Ani nangis lagi mama". So i went to her room and once again, i asked her whether she wanted to go back or not. She said no need, so i offered to sent her to her aunt's house in SA, also she rejected it. She said, she gonna go there this weekend after all. so i just let her be. I went to read my new bought Jemari seni novel Tunas and it was then my husband called me.

"Pergilah tanya Ani, kot dia nak balik."
"Saya baru lepas tanya dia, dia kata tak nak."
"Pergilah tanya balik, dia ada kat luar tu."

So i got up and got her.

"Ani nak balik ke?"
"Boleh ke kak?"
"Kalau Ani nak balik, bolehlah."
"Seminggu pun jadilah kak."
"Tapi mungkin naik feri je lah sebab tiket kpl terbang takut dah mahal."
"Tapi saya mahu pinjam duit kak."
"Iyelah, takpelah, akak bagilah."

So my husband called her aunt in SA , asked about the ferry from klang to Medan, it will take 7 hours costing RM2++ return. So i asked my husband to checked the airasia ticket. There's Monday's morning ticket, will depart at 8.30am from LCCT and will be coming back from Medan on 30th. It cost RM594. I told her about the fare and promise to pay for her half of the fare, she agreed. I bought it and told her. I asked her to pack since she supposed to check in at 6.30am the following morning. she just nodded. I asked my husband to withdraw the money she needed and change it to rupiah. It was 10.00 at the time we were busily discussed and acted. The following morning my husband sent her to LCCT and i tooak an EL for that day.

So for the past 2 days, i've been occupying myself with house chores and office works. House chores that i seldom do since we got maid, like mopping the floor, doing the dishes, clean up and all sort of that kind of works. It's tiring me. So i couldn't even touch my blog at all.

i'm thinking, is it possibble for me to finish my Kisah Adam plus I got a stock take scheduled to be done on Jan 2, Interim Audit Jan 5, and Final Audit Feb 2. Shalalla. so i will try my best on everything. at least my life is living at this end of the year. I'm smiling because i am busy even to feel bore.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Pros n Cons

I wrote this entry in the middle of writing my Kisah Adam. While i was writing it, Harris came, he purposely said something that i never allow him to say. At the same time i was thinking was it because he never been to school? so i was thinking the pros n the cons of having maid at home.

pros:

1. The house will always clean/neat
2. I don't need to think about chores
3. We can ask for meals anytime


Cons:
1. I'm not sure what she taught my kids at home
2. i'm not sure how she treated my kids
3. And most importantly how do i know who's she has friend with.

And i am very angry right now. I've been receiving calls from unknown man who wants to talk to my maid's friend. How did he knew my number? And i don't have a place to shout it out!

i really feel like retiring now! Arrrghhhh.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Harris oh harris




He was scolded again last night. He purposely pulled azrah's hair in order to grab her new year calendar. He ignored my words when i asked him to return one of the calendar to azrah. In return he had been scolded by his abah.

Before that, as soon as i arrived home, he told me that he hurt himself while playing at the playground. He bruised his knee. it's hard for him to fold his leg afterwards. Poor my little Harris.

It's harris day. he didn't allow me to hug him since he said that i might hurt his knee. Oh my dear Harris.

This morning, he still asleep went i got out from home, as soon as i arrived at my carpark, he cried from the balcony, he asked me many times where am i going. i replied him that i'm going to work. But he just keep asking while crying. Finally he asked for car riding. It's hurt to see him crying in the early morning, so i agreed while glance to the clock. it's almost 8. My office hour start at 8.15. I've got 15 minutes extended time from the official office hours. It took me 20-30 minutes to reach office. So just gamble it. I brought him around the block. He seems okay when i leave him at 8.05am.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Tak nak tukar kerja!!!

i really don't understand myself... i neither want to stay at my current workplace nor the new offered workplace. The reason why:

current workplace:
- too many politics
- the works became dull

new:
- i don't want to start all over again
-i'm not in the good mood to work anymore.

Please, help me.

i'm bored!

Tengah Membusykan diri

I am currently trying to occupy myself with writing. I'm in the mood right now. My husband did complain why did i only write early and end of the year? Maybe that's the best time i got the idea. it's monsoon season by the way. It's cold.

i promised myself to at least try to finish kisah adam. Can i make it before the end of the year?

Last Raya Haji, My back and chest felt uncomfortable. i went to KTS and the doctor said that my fourth rib is not okey. it might be swollen or something. but i had difficulties in sleeping and sitting. So the doctor shot me with the injection. It's better, but still i felt not so good. Why at the age of 30 i got so many illness. i will try to do more exercise later on...

Friday, December 12, 2008

summary of the week

went back to terenganu on 7th december, a day before celebrating eid-adha. The traffic was smooth until we entered Kemaman, up until Dungun, the traffic was quite slow. We departed at 10am from our apartment in seri Kembangan and reached my parents house at 8pm... it's quite a long journey. 10 hours. Azrah asked me why didn't we took flight... it's faster. i told her .. it's not quite practical during monsoon season and hari raya. There would be lots of thing to be brought.

During the trip, it was raining all days until we reached Dungun. Even the temperature dropped down to 24 degree celcius at noon in Pahang area.

At first i planned to spend the whole week there, however i got a call from PASB on Tuesday asked me to come for an interview... i asked for friday.. it's the last day of working days there. so i could spend more hours in Trg.

The interview, post and changing workplace... i'm tired of those. i hope this would be the last.. i'm retiring soon. i've already gave my husband a year notice to it... i really want to enjoy spending time with the kids and writing. My husband keep asking me, when will i write the novel. do it. i will !! i really want to at least finish one work. They're lots of authors nowadays... so i have to work hard. i really admire syud, hlovate and k su... they wrote nice stories and fresh.. i liked their writing style very much especially Syud's Tentang Dhiya ( i read for 5 times already), K Su's SUUN (more than 5) Hlovate's 5 tahun 5 bulan (uncounted). Currently i'm addicting to fanfiction at soompi... some were great. ignored the grammaticals errors... since i myself not that good.

Back to the week summary, i came back to selangor on 11th.. arrived at 2am..we departed from Kt at 4pm... we bought tart nangka on the way back.. it was so good. went to the interview the next day... at 3pm... wan, helped me with the intro speech. he drove me to the PASB.. both of us had a very little sleep last night.. i'm attached to Panggil aku Dahlia. K Su's new work. I'm nort really in the mood to attend interview, cahnging job etc... but since i'm already bored at that place plus the offer is quite great, might as well just grabbed it for the finishing. i really want to retire. 2010 is my goal. hopefully, i can make it.