d serambi

wah ... berhabuk blog ini...

2011-06-27T05:39:00.000-07:00

dua bulan tanpa cerita ...

2011 mmg menguji kesabaran dan iman sungguh. byk sangat dugaan. Tapi dugaan yang diingat .. lupa tentang nikmat yang diberi. Alhamdulillah. Tak terjangka pulak akan pregnant lagi walau memang merancang. terkejut waktu terasa diri mula terasa pelik. diikuti dengan result 2 line dr pregnancy tester.

en hubby pun sangat pening sebelumnya. dengan pelbagai masalah diri. Akhirnya mengusulkan kepadany utk mengerjakan umrah. Alhamdulillah rezeki dia. semua urusan berjalan dengan sangat mudah. sebaik confirm flight, masa tulah tau diri ni berbadan dua. tak terjangka yang sickness kali ni sgt mencabar.

2-3 hari dia pergi, ok lagi bolehlah kotrol, makin lama makin teruk keadaan diri. bermula dgn mak seremban yg temankan sampai padi temankan ... diri makin lembik ... akhirnya padi yg kena buat byk benda ... dan akhirnya bila en hubby balik .. semua dia yg handle .... loya muntah .. pening ... tak leh tdo malam ... this is the worst ever ... mungkin sbb usia ...

sepanjang dua bulan ... mmg x keluar ke mana ... sesekali ke klinik... dlm bulan 6 ni br 2 kali kluar utk mkn ... tu pun mmg x leh berlama2an .... pening ... kalau kluar pun takat duduk menunggu diorg merayau ...

kesian my hubby ... kena uruskan anak2 skolah .. g keje.. basuh pinggan, baju .. kemas rumah ... emmang x leh buat apa. semua dia yg buat ... maka kalau rumah selerak .... x berdaya nak membebel ....

tak pernah x boleh minum air ... inilah first time rasa x boleh minum air ... tertekan .. iman mmg senipis kulit bawang .. duk fikir kenapa berat benar ujian kali ni ... akhirnya stlh melepasi 12 minggu ...

Alhamdulillah .. selera makan makin ok... tapi tdo malam masih gagal ... sangat tension ...

semoga hari2 makin bertambah baik ....

pesta buku antarabangsa kuala lumpur 2011

2011-04-24T03:56:00.001-07:00

setelah menghitung hari sejak dua minggu lepas, akhirnya pbakl tiba juga. Seronoknya dapat memborong buku. Azrahlah yang paling banyak borong buku. Sekian lama duk tunggu nak beli buku-buku baru terbitan JS, ahirnya tercapailah juga.

sampai je rumah malam tu lepas makan malam kat restoran jepun kat seri pacific KL, terus sambar baju melayu hijau serindit ... syud as ever .. cerita dia sangat sweet .. suke cara dia bercerita .. ayat simple2, yet sangat terasa di hati ... duk ralit membaca tengok jam dah pukul 4 pagi waktu habiskan buku tu.

paginya selepas bangun subuh dan en izwan g kerja, terus je sambung tidur. sedar-sedar dah pukul 1 tengah hari. bangun mandi sembahyang dan makan. lepas asar hujan lebat sungguh dengan kilat, guruh sampai power trip. last2 tiga2 tertido. sedar x sedar lima minit lagi nak pukul lapan. terus bangun, mandi dan maghrib.

bila en izwan balik, dia lapar, tengok bawang sume dah habis tinggal bwg besar holland je sebiji, maka terus la potong2 ayam, sosej, sayur dan bawang. panaskan air utk rebus spaghetti. dalam bertelekung, settle lah buat preparation masak. Isyak dulu baru sambung masak.

malam sambung lagi dengan contengan jalanan hlovate, selak dua tiga helai serius tak faham apa juga istilah2 alat2 muzik dan muzik ataus eni yang digunakan. Namun cerita hlovate dr dulu sampai sekarang sangat menyedarkan. habis membaca sedar x sedar air mata menangis, bukan kisah cinta pun tapi sangat mendalam. thanks hlovate ...

tengok jam dah kul 3 pagi, en izwan pesan suruh kejut dia pagi nanti nak g kerja, kalau tido, sure terbabas. sambung baca langsir biji remia. baca2 tengok jam dah kul 5 pagi. berhenti sekejap. wudhuk, tahajjud, sunat taubat, sunat hajat dan witir. sungguh2 menangis , kesan bacaan contengan jalanan. menyedari betapa diri sangat kerdil dan hina ....sementara tunggu subuh sempat baca 2 ms surah az-zumar. selesai subuh, kejut en izwan. sementara tunggu dia g kerja, habiskan dulu langsir biji remia. dia dah pergi keje, buku x hbs2 lagi. habiskan dulu. dah hbs tengok jam dah pukul lapan. dhulalah sekejap. lepas dhuha terus tertido .....

bangun kul 1, mandi sembahyang dan keluar cari mknn. lepas tu sambung pulak dengan untuk awak teja aulia. tertekan menunggu pengakhirannya. namun sedkit frust pengakhirannya terlalu pendek, ringkas.

namun saya sangat terhibur dan kagum dengan ketiga2 penulis ini, hlovate, syud dan kak su.

hlovate kisahnya yg selalu berkisarkan kehidupan seorang skater atau pemuzik atau artist yang akhirnya menemui jalan kembali kepadaNya. ayata2nya cukup simple dan ringkas. tetapi pemilihan kata yang sangat bijak, tepat dan menarik. Pada saya hlovate dianugerahkan sesuatu yg sangat bernilai kepadanya dan dia langsung tidak mensia-siakan anugerah itu, menarik pembaca ke arah yg lebih baik .. of course utk mereka yang diizinkanNya .... insya Allah ...

syud dengan kisah cinta yang sangat sweet tanpa melanggar batas2 pastinya ..

kak su dengan pengakhiran yang tak pernah diduga .... bahasa2 yang puitis dan seperti mendengar kak su sdg bercerita ...

saya ingin menjadi penulis yang mampu menjadi seperti ketiga2 mereka ini, cerita yang sweet, yang mengingatkan kita tentang siapa kita di muka bumi ini dan mempunyai tarikan tersendiri.

gempa sana sini

2011-04-07T22:26:00.000-07:00

hari ini 8 April 2011, hampir sebulan selepas gempa dan tsunami di jepun. Rasanya dalam tempoh sebulan ini, banyak sangat berita gempa bumi di sana sini. Kita umat akhir zaman, kiamat itu pasti dan bila-bila masa saja akan terjadi.

semalam ada gempa lagi di jepun, sekuat 7.4magnitud. di mexico juga ada beberapa minit selepas itu. indoneisa juga dalam minggu ini sduah berapa kali terjadinya gempa. bagi kita di malaysia yang sekali terasa dalam beberapa kali siri yang terjadi, tidak cukup untuk memahami perasaan mereka yang merasai.

kisah bumi merekah, umat ditelan bumi bukan cerita asing utk kita org Islam. Di dalam Al Quran sendiri banyak ayat yang menceritakan tentang kejadian2 sebegini. Allah memberi amaran. Balasan utk mereka yang menduakannya, ujian buat mereka yang beriman.

setiap hari yang dilalui terasa diri semakin jauh kembali. Berusaha mencari diri sedaya upaya supaya Dia yang sentiasa menjadi destinasi/matlamat setiap aktiviti. Semoga dia memberi hidayah, kekuatan dan kesungguhan dalam diri ini. Insya Allah. amin

semangat menulis yg sangat tinggi

2011-04-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

entahlah saya ini kategori penulis yg mcm mana. yg pentingnaya layakkah dipanggil penulis. saya menulis ikut suka hati. meluahkan apa yg dirasa, dilihat dan dipendam sekian lama. ada yg mengikut pengalmana sendiri, ada dri perhatian melihat sekitar ada juga kerana ingin menyampaikan tetapiu tdk pernah kesampaian. melalui tulisan saya berharap apa yg saya ingin luahkan tercapai tanpa perlu menyakitkan hati sesiapa.

Alhamdulillah, cerita yang saya mulakan dan guna sewaktu menghadiri bengkel penulisan sudah berkembang. tapi saya punya masalah. bagaimana harus mengakhirinya.

saya pelik dgn diri sendir, tgh sibuk menulis satu cerita, idea utk cerita lian sudah dtg. ingin dibiarkan terasa sayang. lantas dua tiga dibalun sekali. harap2 semua ada pengakhirannya.

nisa dan adam, nadia dan halim dan juga ghazi dan aina

instead of japan

2011-04-03T01:11:00.000-07:00

akhirnya .....
sabtu 12 mar, rasa sedih, kesal dan penat .. bukan kerana tdk dapat ke jepun ... tapi hanya kerana satu panggilan ... saya benar2 ingin bercuti ... jauh .... maka kami mengemas barang. beg disumbat ke dalam kereta. kami kemudiannya pergi lunch ke restoran ayam kg tuan faridah di bkt puchong. selesai makan, kami tiada arah tujuan. tapi saya dah decide, south sasaran kami. tapi tiada yg muktamad. anak-anak nak bermain di water park. kami akhirnya memasuki PLUS.

sewaktu melalui Melaka, kami teragak-agak. ke mana arah tujuan kami. kami teruskan lagi. akhirnya sehingga tamat PLUS, kami masuk JB. mencari the zon. akhirnya bermalam di situ selama 2 malam. bertemu Maya, rakan se U yg sama2 kawen awal. anaknya pun tua sethn je dr azrah. anaknya pun 2. dulu sentiasa berhubung meluahkan ketensionan masing2 dgn kerja. di saat saya menulis entry ini, dia sdg menjalani satu operation di hosp pakar perdana, kb. semoga Allah mempermudahkan rawatan itu untuknya dan semoga dia cepat sembuh.

Kami jumpa zam, rakan seklah masa saya form3. wahhhh lama betul tak jumpa. dia ada sejarah tersendiri dgn saya .... heheheh ... sejarah zmn sekolah ...

kami ke rumah pak cik mokhtar, saudara wan sblh atuknya di kempas. kemudiannya esoknya kami masuk ke singapura.

singapore oh singapore ... masuk saja kami dah keliling satu pulau tanpa dapat mencari jalan keluar. duduk di atas highwaynya sahaja ... stlh hampir 2 jam berpusing tanpa arah, barulah hp saya boleh menggunakan google map. barulah dapat ke tempat penginapan kami. mahal sungguh rate hotel di spore ... hotel yg terletak di jalan bugis itu sgt menarik, comel dan selesa. ratenya SG$ 211.

ptgnya kami ke rumah saudara wan lagi di bhgn bkt badak reservoir ... ada 3 rumah kami pergi, rumah mcik hajar, mcik zara dan pakcik razali .... mmg kenyang perut. dihidangkan dgn makanan yg enak2 sungguh kami kekenyangan. layanannya pula mmg tip top. sembang x berneti. sejarah keluarga semua dibuka. dari sejarah bugis ke sejarah terkini ...

blk dr spore, kami sesat lagi nak cari jalan ke tambak. sampai ke the zon blk hr dah nak maghrib. melayan makan di sayan. restoran makanan lauk yg sgt enak dan murah ... tp boleh tahanla menunggu. memang puas hatiii

blk dr jb, kami singgah di pd, asalnya berkira-kira mana nak singgah. last2 singgah pd. melepak di avilion. perghhh boleh tahanla 2 hari punya kos. tapi anak2 puas hati. kdg aku naik musykil dgn aku berbelanja beribu kat mesia aku berkira, berbelanja beribu2 kat luar mesia aku buat rilex je .... cettttt

dr pd kami singgah ke rumah mak di sban. layan merong mahawangsa dan rango. anak2 enjoy HMMW ... okayla... salute la to kru boleh buat cite cam tu .... skang aku nak tunggu kongsi? kongxi? cam lawak je cite dia ....

japan oh japan

2011-04-03T00:56:00.000-07:00

kami sepatutnya terbang ke tokyo pada 11 mar 2011, 11.30mpm waktu tempatan. Saya sejak seminggu sblm tarikh itu mmg tak berapa bersemangat. packing baju pun selesai pada hari jumaat itulah. tengah duduk berfb sementara menunggu en izwan ke masjid dan ke bank. tetibe seorang rakan menghantar komen di status fb saya. ada gempa dan tsunami di jepun.

saya cepat-cepat google. Ternyata. Earthquake berskala 8.9 mgnitude dgn tsunami dilaporkan berlaku di bhgn northeast kepulauan honshu. tidak jauh mana dr tokyo. sehingga ke tokyo gegarannya dpt dirasa. saya sempat google video2 yg ada ... Nauzubillahiminzalik.... astaghfirullahalazim .... dan alhamdulillah ... itu je yg terkeluar saat itu. waktu tu jam pukul 3 lebih, ptg. kami plan nak bertolak ke airport lepas maghrib. sbb check in 3 jam sblm ... terus saya call wan, beritahu dia. jgn tukar duit yen lagi. (mmg dah tukar separuh). saya call MAS, tanya status flite. lama menunggu utk dapat bercakap, flite masih on, tiada perubahan will fly ikut schedule. tp dia agent dia suruh call balik lps pukul 7. Masa tu tak fikir apa dah. kalau perlu burn tiket burn la, nak buat mcm mana. buka channel astro awani 501. masih dlm keadaan terkejut dan bersyukur yg amat . hanya beberapa jam yang memisahkan kami. kemudiannya awani 501 menyiarkan flite MH070 dr KUL-NRT dah pun diverted ke taipei. narita dan tutup. sendai mmg musnah teruk, haneda juga dah tutup.

pukul 5 lebih kami call lagi MAS. flite dah cancelled. will be announced bila akan terbang. pukul sepuluh lbh malam dpt email, flite reschedule to 4.30 am. nak pergi ke dlm keadaan cam tu? kami call blk MAS. Kalau tak nak fly boleh reschedule. kami kena pilih exact date. terus cari kalendar. main rembat je tarikh paling lambat yg bolehh fly. kami boleh plh date within 3 months. disebabkan kami beli tiket tambang special offer, refund tak dibenarkan. jadi pilih je lah tarikh. kami diberi sehingga 2 jam sblm flite terbang uutk confirm date. kami pilih 20-26 may 2011.

kemudiannya, telefon dan msg adik beradik kata kami x jadi pergi. Semua bersyukur yg amat waktu diberitahu. namun ada satu panggilan yg sangat2 mengecewakan saya. rasa lebih teruk dr dilanda tsunami barangkali. pecah tembok kewarasan rasanya. sungguh walau keinginan untuk menulis kisah sedih itu membuak-buak namun maruah insan itu perlu saya jaga juga. tak apalah. Ujian bagi saya.

feb & mar 2011 benar2 menguji keimanan.

Sudah April

2011-04-03T00:27:00.000-07:00

lama sudah tak berblog, mungkin sebab sekarang ada fb, semua benda nak update kat situ, tapi of course lah limited kan?
Sekejap je dah April, Jan, Feb & Mar datang dan pergi macam tu je ... apa ye pencapaian tahun 2011, belum ada yang menampakkan hasillah.

Bulan februari dengan dugaan yang amat perit dalam hidup. Balik masa CNY asalnya untuk prepare persiapan kahwin adik lelaki yang bongsu, akhirnya bertukar menjadi sesi ke hulu ke hilir ke hospital.
Kami sampai ke Terengganu pada hari Rabu, bertolak dari Kuala Lumpur pada hari Selasa petang singgah bermalam di Grand Continental Kuantan. Tu fa port kami kenapa ye? makanan dia superb ... mmg best la malam tu order chicken chop, burger, fish and chip dan nasi goreng ... makan sungguh2 ... thari esoknya baru bertolak balik ke terengganu. Sampai pun dah pukul berapa masa tu .

Masa sampai mak duk mengadu sakit, sakit yang sungguh-sungguh. sakit sampai tahap langsung tak peduli apa orang kiri kanan buat. So malam tu bawa Mak pergi klinik, dah lupa dah nama klinik tu. DEkat dengan simpang to' Ku. Kaki mak dah buruk teruk masa tu. Lama menunggu nak jumpa doktor, siap berapa kali cakap nak mintak jumpa doktor dulu pun x dapat-dapat. Mak memang sakit sangat-sangat masa tu. Bila berjumpa doktor, Dr kata mmg dah kena potong dua jari tu. Oklah, dah tak boleh nak buat apa.

Hari Khamis malam jumaat, Hafiz menikah. saya dan padi tak ikut. Tunggu Mak. Walaupun K Na suruh join, rasa macam kesian pulak padi nak tunggu mak sorang-sorang. Waktu tu, mak memang langsung tak boleh tidur lena. Sentiasa duduk (baring pun tak selesa). Maka kadang-kadang Mak akan tersengguk-sengguk tertidur sambil duduk.

Jumaat, hari yang paling penat aku rasa. Pagi-pagi lagi mak dah mengadu sakit dan memang tak tidur langsung. Dr Noraini, menantu Mak teh dipanggil untuk tengokkan Mak. Kebetulan ada sepupu datang dan bawa mak ke klinik. Dr masukkan air sebab mak langsung takde selera makan dan tak tidur. Tapi mak dah disarankan pergi ke klinik dah pun.Tengah hari Jumaat, Abg Mat dan klong bawa mak ke HSNZ. lama jugak di situ. kenduri kahwin sebelah pengantin perempuan berlangsung tanpa kehadiran mak, abg mat dan klong. Abg Mat balik dah dekat nak Maghrib. Tgh2 Maghrib, Mak telefon kata boleh balik. Abg Mat dan Abah pelik. Akhirnya saya, abg mat dan wan ke HSNZ juga. rupanya mak mintak blk. menunggu surat nak balik saja dah lama mana.

Sekali masa on d way balik mak kata nak g balik hosp sbb x tahan sakit. (mungkin sbb abg mat dah kata kalau blk rumah, kalau sakiat nanti nak buat camne? dr xde.) menunggu proses nak masuk dah sekian hal balik. Dr muda yang jaga kecemasan dah siap-siap warning. Makcik yg nak balik, ni nak masuk balik. Mmg boleh fahamlah, dr ni penat, dahlah kerja waktu pagi-pagi buta. tapi fikirlah jugak org yg menghantar tu x semestinya x penat .... masa tu dah pukul tiga pagi .... mmg memenatkan ...

lepas tu kisah bergilir-gilir menunggu di hosp ... sekali bila dr x buat apa, (org katil2 sblh kata sbb mak dah kluar, masuk blk tu yg dr buat x peduli). Lagi la macam aaarrgghhh. Ahad, abg mat pergi jumpa sendiri ketua jbtn bhgn orthopedik HSNZ. mmg kena potong sampai betis sbb saluran darah dah tersumbat. Bukan sebab jangkitan kuman sahaja.

akhirnya mak kami bawa ke KL. rasanya tak cukup satu entry nak cite sume hal ni. Sampai KL kami ke anjung rahmat. kononnya tempat utk merawat luka org diabetes. kami nak mencuba. Tempatnya ya Allah, tak pernah terfikir di fikiran kami sedaif itu tempatnya. pendekkan cerita, kaki mak tetap tdk boleh dirawat. maka kami ke columbia asia, puchong. Setelah diperiksa oleh dr kamal, pakar orthopedik di situ, dia menyarankan mak menjalani pemeriksaan angiogram di sunway krn CA tdk mempunyai pakar di bidang itu. Seboleh mungkin dr kamal berusaha utk tdk memotong kaki mak smapai ke betis.

mak ke sunway med centre esoknya. stlh berjumpa Dr YP leong, pakar vascular surgery. Mak menjalani pemeriksaan angiogram. saluran darah mak dah byk tersumbat. rata-rata. Mmg tiada cara lain, amputation is the best . Akhirnya kaki mak dipotong pd hari sabtu pukul 2 ptg.

memikirkan feb 2011 terasa sangat menyedihkan, memenatkan kerana ke hulu ke hilir berkejar dan juga penat mental juga. hanya orang yg pernah melalui tahu perasaan ini. saya selalu berkata pd diri sendiri, tiba masa duit bukan soalnya. terima kasih atas bantuan sepupu-sepupu yang banyak membantu dr segi kewangan dan sokongan. Doa yang tdk putus juga .... Kos rawatan selama sebulan berjumlah rm19+++. Hasil sumbangan sepupu-sepupu dan adik beradik. duit berjaya dikumpul sebanyak rm11+++. Terima kasih daun keladi .. moga Allah membalasnya ... insya Allah ...

Januari datang lagi...

2011-01-09T09:08:00.000-08:00

Dah lama sungguh tak berblog .... sblm masuk tahun baru lagi , dah sibuk macam2 ....

12/12/2010 : attend bengkel penulisan kreatif - saya ingin betul2 serius dalam penulisan kreatif pada tahun 2011. Hopefully tahun ni matlamat itu tercapai.. insya Allah ...

16 - 18/12/2010 : Genting - bukanlah pergi bersukaria pun .. g lepak kat awana saja2 nak berehat .... konon nak cari ilham ... heheheh

18/12/ -28/12/2010 : balik kg - mak sakit kaki yg agak kronik, berlubang di celah jari kelingking .. kena jangkitan kuman akibat ulat air ... jangkitan kuman dah sampai ke dalam kaki... mak x leh jalan.. malam je x leh tdo sbb berdenyut2 ... i am not a good daughter ... sbb x gheti camne nak jaga makkk .. teruk kan.. help as possibble i can.. mak duk ulang dua tiga kali... aku urut best ... so next time blk.. make sure urut mak yeee

28/12/2010 : sampai je ke SK, nampak pintu pagar sekolah baru dah buka - so pergilah mengendap.. rupanya skolah baru akan start new session on Jan 3, 2011. Esoknya pagi-pagi pergi ambik isi form tukar sekolah kat SK cyberjaya. Lepas tu g register skolah harris pulak .... Tadika Firzana ... balik berkejar ke Sk Cyberjaya ambik form yg dah diapproved & ke PPD Petaling kat Shah Alam, skali dokumen x lengkap... saja je menunggu berjam2 ...

Malam tgk bola : Malaysia menang for the first time Suzuki Cup ... tp bukan menang yg penting .. the game was good... suke sgt tengok Malaysian main ... the deserved to win .. the play really hard n smart too ... nice game guys ... dah lama x rase kemeriahan cam ni ... last yg sampai skrang masih ingat .. thomas cup 1992.. detik 12.36mlm .... tarikh x ingat ....

29/12/2010 : en izwan pergi htr form ke PPD, 4 Jan br siap ....

2/1/2011 : azrah jatuh kat taman, kaki terpeleot sikit ... balik tuam ngan ice .... mlm baru balut kaki .. sian dia.. dah bengkak kaki baru mama terhegeh2 nak balut ... dah masuk angin dah mama .... ish mama2 ...

3/1/2011 : Harris start skolah .. muka dah start cemberut x nak g skolah .... x nak ngada2kan dia.. lepas dia masuk kelas.. terus blah ... kul 12.45 dtg ambik ... sambil2 tu bwk kakak g minum dan g alamanda beli kasut skolah kakak. Waktu fetch harris, dia dah gelak2 .... okayla tu ....

4/1/2011 : pkl 9.45 br g register skolah br azrah SK Taman Desa Minium (SKTDM), memang betul2 sebelah pagar kawasan rumah ....

Tahun ni dan bulan ini azrah is going to be 9 .... sekejap je masa berlalu ... rasa sayu ... she's growing up ... risau takut 'mama' ini salah mengasuhnya .... risau2 .... masa yg sgt kritikal dlm membentuk jiwanya ...

plannya tahun ni no more birthday party .. tp dia nak mcm harris thn lps.. celebrate dgn stay kat mana2 hotel ... okay kot.. plus rasanya nak ubahsuai bilik dia ... sbb thn ni btl2 nak ajar dia tdo bilik sendiri ... harap2 berjaya ...

Salam Maal Hijrah

2010-12-13T04:55:00.000-08:00

Dah dekat seminggu dah pun masuk tahun baru Hijrah, sungguh-sungguh lupa tentang blog ini. Tiba-tiba menulis dalam BM di blog ini, sangat terasa janggal. Ini akibat diserang penyakit gediks bab kata Kak Su (Penulis, Pengarang & Editor) ..

Semoga tahun baru ini, saya akan menjadi manusia yang lebih berjaya.

Mengutip ilmu daripada orang yang jauh berpengalaman dalam bidang penulisan, terasa diri tersangat kerdil. Mengenali rakan-rakan baru yang sedang sama-sama bertatih untuk menulis, saya terasa bersemangat untuk menulis dan mengarang ...

Penulis dan Pengarang ... dua nama berbeza peranan pun berbeza ... jadilah pengarang yang mampu mengajak pembaca menjadi orang yang lebih baik dari semalam ...

Semoga saya juga akan menjadi manusia yang lebih positif di hari-hari yang mendatang. Hidup teramat singkat, gunakanlah dengan sepenuhnya dan sebaik mungkin. Minimunkan kesalahan dan kecuaian ... namun selebihnya Dia jua yang menentukan ...

Sayangilah kanak-kanak
kerana itu masa silam kita
Masa silam yang tak mampu kita ulangi
walau kita manusia terkaya sekalipun
Masa yang sangat menggembirakan
Masa yang kita tidak perlu fikir tentang masalah
Masa di mana kita sahaja yang betul
Masa di mana kita merasakan ibu ayah tidak menyayangi kita
Masa kita jatuh bangun bermain guli dan bola selipar
Masa kita berseronok mandi hujan tanpa fikir tentang akibatnya

DEkatilah remaja
kerana mereka sangat sensitif
silap percaturan kita mungkin kehilangan mereka
kehilangan rasa percaya daripada mereka
kehilangan rasa kasih yang telah kita semai
kehilangan rasa hormat yang kita harapkan
kerana kita pernah remaja
Masa remaja itulah yang mencorakkan kita menjadi insan di hari ini
Masa yang menguatkan kita untuk seteguh sekarang
Masa yang mengajar kita apa erti sebuah kegagalan dan kekecewaan
Masa yang berjalan seiring dengan meningkatnya usia kita

Hormatilah orang tua
Kerana itu masa hadapan kita
suatu masa andai diizinkanNya
kita pasti merasa
sayunya saat berjauhan dengan anak-anak
saat melambai anak cucu kembali ke rumah masing-masing
setelah bercuti di kampung halaman
saat kita kita sakit, dan kita terpaksa mengharapkan bantuan orang lain
saat kita tiada lagi kudrat untuk membantu diri kita sendiri

What's wrong with me?

2010-10-16T20:08:00.000-07:00

I myself couldn't understand this feeling i miss those days when i was watching WGM Joongbo, pretty sad when replay all the episodes all over again. Its reminds me to those days when i was waiting eagerly every week just to watch my favourite couple.

It was two years back when it's first aired. I had accidentally watched the episode where Andy and solbi couple went for outing. And then i met this Joongbo couple. Seriously i like this couple very much. After two years, the programme is still ongoing yet the couple changed numbers of time. After Joongbo, i like Hwayobi Hwanhee couple, after that Jun Jin Si Young couple and now there are Jung Hwa Seohyun and Nickhun Victoria. But seriously they can't bypass Joongbo couple.

From watching Joongbo couple, i got two know few Malaysian fans, and one of them still in contact with me until now.

Just don't know where to write ... so sorry for those who read my blog ...

So many things changed in my life, i want to be a better muslimah but yet the Korean shows/drama always be part of my source of leisure...

Harris Berpuasa

2010-08-11T23:12:00.000-07:00

Semalam, 1 Ramadhan 1431, Harris belajar berpuasa for the first time. Bersahur bukan main lagi, makan nasi, telur goreng dgn sayur air sawi. Pastu makan honey star dengan susu lagi...

Puding Roti

2010-08-11T23:11:00.001-07:00

Puding Roti
Sumber: Buku Resipi Selera Perantau
Hits: 49038 Rating: 4.21 Review: 2

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Bahan-Bahan:

1 paket roti (5 ketul)
1 kg susu
Gula secukup rasa
1 camca besar mentega

Secubit garam
1 camca kecil esen vanila
1 biji telur

Cara:

Roti dicarik-carikkan kemudian rendam bersama susu, gula, mentega, garam dan esen vanila. Setelah roti agak lembut, masukkan ke dalam loyang dan kukus selama 3/4 jam. Setelah masak, angkat dan hidangkan.

bulan bulan Islam

2010-08-09T20:17:00.001-07:00

HIJRAH
Sekiranya anda mengetahui pada bulan Hijrah anda dilahirkan, menurut
pengetahuan tradisional bulan itu mempunyai pengaruh yang tersendiri
terhadap perilaku. Dicatatkan bagi menambahkan pengetahuan

MUHARRAM
Bersifat pendiam, sihat fikirannya. Mungkin akan menjadi ***** jika tidak
mendapat didikan yang sempurna, walaupun begitu, jika dididik dengan baik,
dia boleh menjadi cerdik kerana bakat fikiran yang pintar cerdas ada
padanya. Dia mempunyai keinginan yang baik dan selalu berada dalam selamat..

SAFAR
Tabiatnya buruk. Dia tidak suka mengakui kesalahannya. lbubapanya perlu
mendidiknya bagi menghilangkan tabiat buruk itu, jika tidak, kehidupannya
akan menjadi susah di kemudian hari. Walaupun begitu, sekiranya dia
melakukan sesuatu untuk kepentingan dirinya, selalunya ianya akan
mendatangkan hasil.

RABIULAWAL
Perwatakannya baik. Mungkin dia akan mendapat pangkat besar, menjadi orang
berpengaruh atau kaya tanpa diduga. Dalam pekerjaan ramai yang suka. Sifat
negatif dirinya termasuklah kurang sabar, hatinya keras dan mudah marah.

RABIULAKHIR
Perwatakannya jahat. Hatinya tidak tetap. Fikiran dan kemahuannya lemah,
buruk nafsunya, kasar wataknya, mudah mengangkat tangannya. Kehidupannya
menjadi sukar kerana tabiat buruknya itu. Ibubapa menempuh kesukaran dalam
mendidiknya.

JAMADIL AWAL
Dia mempunyai tingkat keyakinan yang tinggi. Dia berani dan nekad,
kadangkala melakukan sesuatu yang ***** atau bahaya. Walaupun begitu,
keberanian dan tekadnya itu akan menunjukkan hasil usahanya, yang menemui
kegagalan juga.

JAMADIL AKHIR
Wataknya berani, dia hormatkan orang lain. Berbagai kepandaian ada padanya.
Apabila dia tahu bahawa dia salah atau keliru maka dia mudah mengakuinya,
tapi bila dia tahu dia benar, pendiriannnya keras dan tidak mahu mengalah.
Semasa kecilnya, ibubapanya perlu mendidiknya dengan baik agar terserlah
sifat-sifatnya yang baik itu, kerana jika betul didikannya, masa dewasa ia
akan menyenangkan kedua orang tuanya.

REJAB
Semasa kecilnya dia degil dan nakal. lbu bapanya patut mendidiknya dengan
baik agar dia dapat menerapkan nilai-nilai yang baik.. Ketika sudah dewasa,
dia suka bersikap merendah diri dan bersikap tidak tahu menahu. Ini agak
berlainan dari sikapnya semasa kecil. Walaubagaimanapun hidupnya selamat dan
sentosa.

SYA'ABAN
Perwatakannya baik. Hidupnya selamat dan rezekinya tidak putus-putus.
Sewaktu kecilnya dia mudah mengalah semasa bermain dengan kawan-kawan.
Kelakuannya baik, berbudi bahasa hingga semua orang sayang padanya. Masa
dewasanya dia akan berjaya dalam segala kerjayanya danmudah mendapat rezeki.

RAMADHAN
Dia baik, pendiam, suka merendah diri. Dia tidak angkuh kepada teman yang
dikenalinya. Dia tidak suka menonjolkan diriya. Kehidupannya selalu selamat.

SYAWAL
Perwatakannya keras. Hatinya keras. Dia tidak suka dikalahkan oleh orang
lain. Hal ini membahayakan hidupnya, oleh itu ibu bapanya perlulah
mendidiknya dengan betul bagi menghilangkan tabiat buruknya itu. Jika tidak
kehidupannya menjadi susah kerana perangai keras hatinya, dan dia selalu
bergaduh terutamanya dalam hal mencari rezeki.

ZULKAEDAH
Perwatakannya pendiam. Banyak perkara baik pada dirinya berubah menjadi
buruk. Dia banyak berfikir, kerana sifat ini, satu hari nanti dia akan
mendapat hasil yang baik dalam kehidupannya. Tetapi oleh kerana banyak
berfikir, perbuatannya kadang kala menjadi keliru.. Dia seharusnya bertindak
tanpa terlalu banyak berfikir untuk mendapat hasil yang yang memuaskan.

ZULHIJJAH
Jika dia jahat dia terlalu jahat, jika baik terlalu baik pula. Dia sering
mendapat padah dari perbuatannya sendiri. Dia sukar mengawal perasaannya,
kadangkala terlalu berlebih-lebihan atau sebaliknya. 0leh kerana dia tidak
dapat memberikan garis pemisah, dia sukar mempertimbangkan baik buruk
perbuatannya. Dia seringkali menyesal kerana kurang hati-hati dan kurang
pertimbangan

Kalendar Masihi : 32 thn .. Kalendar Islam dah nak masuk 33 tahun

2010-08-09T19:38:00.000-07:00

My birthday : 10 August 1978 = 6 Ramadhan 1398 = Thursday (lagi 6 hari nak birthday)

Mr Hubby : 25 June 1977 = 8 Rejab 1397 = Saturday

Azrah's : 25 January 2002 = 11 Zulkaedah 1422 = Friday

Harris's : 22 August 2005 = 17 Rejab 1426 = Monday

bye2 bhd 7401 ... welcome wue 386

2010-07-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

Never thought that leaving BHD 7401 is gonna be this hard. In the first place, i've never thought that i would sell or trade in this car ... kelisa limited edition is such a great car .... never create any problem to me ... and never cost me so much in maintaining it ... but because of finance issue, i have to let the car go... came to think about it, i never have any photo of it .. oh so sad .. why didn't i snapped one before leaving it this morning? my dear blue and black kelisa ....

bought in April 2004, met the first accident couple months after wards ... the car only had a scratch while the Honda City need to replace it back bumper ... using it to work since working from home, in Bdr Sri Permaisuri and lastly to Bangi, you have accommodate me very well...

welcome new Viva Elite WUE 386 ... such a nice no... hopefully we will great together .... but i've miss BHD7401 already ....

Harris's Dictionary

2010-07-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

My sisters keep on suggesting me to create a dictionary of Harris's words .... he is really into speaking english at the moment ... maybe tv n internet influence .. i can see that .. he is as good as his sister ... do not compared with their mom ... Their mom is the worst in english in this house... however ... he is still cannot pronounce it properly ... even malay words.... sometimes i've faced difficulty in understanding what he's trying to say or compliment or ask ... i keep on laughing after i got to know what he really means ... Normally Azrah will be my transalator .. since she spends more time having conversation with each other or sometimes acting together ....

These are parts of his words that i couldn't forget :

1. " mama, air oren hepti ke tak?" - healthy

2. " eh rek berel kakak?" - is that better

3. " i wooon it" - i found it

4. " mama, tgk adik roop jumping" - rope jumping

But, his fav word will always awesome. He loves to compliment mama and abah the most .... and he always ask ... the meaning of every single word he curious in mandarin .... and normally abah will answer anything that popped into his mind....

With Mama, when he's in the good mood : "Hello mama yang cantik, Harris Sayang." i will hear this sentence every now and then probably around 10-20 times a day ....

but when he's at the nursery , normally he would cry most of the times ....

Harris has a cute, cheerful, sweet but rough characters .... he's indeed a great son ... i miss him when he's not with me .... but scold him when he's around ....

but i love him as much as i love his sister ....

azrah & harris tengah shopping kat kedai dua ringgit

2010-07-19T00:18:00.000-07:00

wah wah wah ... bestnye diorg ... g shopping aje kalau dgn abahnya .... mama x kuasa nak layan bwk shopping ... kalau duk rumah ngan mama .. kejap2 mama bising suruh kemas tu kutip tu ambik tu ... kalau ngan abah .. suke ati diorg je la... tunggu la mama balik keje karang sure pusing kepala tgk rumah x macam rupa rumah .... adehhh

rindunya nak balik duk rumah gaduh ngan dua budak kecik tu ...

Azrah : Why people change Mama?

2010-07-16T00:47:00.000-07:00

Semalam, azrah meluahkan rasa hati, kata dia : "Azrah rindu sangat Aishah mama (kawan lamanya masa umur 6 tahun), Dulu Aishah dan Azrah attend tadika yg sama, bila Darjah Satu, Aishah dan Azrah sekolah lain2... tu yang Azrah sedih sangat ...

Azrah tanya lagi, "Mama sekarang umur 32, abah 33, nanti mama dengan abah pun berubah ke?"
"Kita akan berubah Azrah, we're getting older every day."

"Sayu sangat sebab rasanya baru je lagi Azrah g attend Kindergarten, tup-tup skarang dah nak habis darjah dua... macam x percaya ... sedih pun ye, sebab she's getting older dan semakin banyak yg dia nak tahu. Risau kalau2 dia rasa dia bersendirian je tanpa sahabat utk berkongsi cerita ... so aku kena spend lebih masa dgr apa dia nak cakap, apa dia nak tanya .. apa dia nak tahu dan apa dia punya agenda...

Sesi luahan rasa Harris pulak, kisah budak kat nursery yg lebih kecik dr dia tp sgt suke membuli dia... Harris2... Harris should be stronger dear ... x boleh selalu nangis dan biar org buat harris...

Kerap pulak menulis lately & dlm BM lak tu

2010-07-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

semalaman x leh tido baca blog Fatimah AzZahra punya pasal.. hehheh ... dan sakit tekak yg makin teruk.. kaki kanan saya pun makin sakit dan asyik kebas2 ... sejak2 pergi melawat muhidi@eddy kat KPJ Kajang sebab ketumbuhan dalam tulang, saya jadi cuak je... baik pergi check betul2...

Saya dah tersilap rupanya ... ingatkan saya baca blog jah, rupanya saya baca blog padi.... sian dia... anak bongsu yg bile dewasa sume org lain sudah punye keluarga dan dia rasa sgt terpinggir ... padi ... moga bertemu bahagia yg dicari...

tekak saya sakit .... skarang dah kul 1 dan saya blum ke klinik .. kalau x dpt mc pun saya akan EL je...

Tetibe je teringat .. En Izwan pernah kata .. kalau dpt buat training nanti .. dia nak duk terengganu... mcm best je.. tapi saya perlu ingat .. keutamaan dia anak lelalki ialah ibu bapanya .. maka saya x rasa itu idea yg baik...

dulu pun saya selalu berangan nak suruh dia cari keje luar Malaysia ... tapi rasanya Allah punya perancangan yg lebih baik ... sbb tu belum pernah berjaya ... saya rasa biarlah dia di sini .. sekurang2nya ada masa bila mak atau papa call utk mita bantuan ... dia ada di sini .... sementara masih boleh berbakti...

Tapi saya rasa baik ke Seremban atau ke Terengganu kami perlu pulang lebih kerap ....

Tekak saya sakit ... cukupla ... nak tunggu zuhur dan keluar ke klinik dgn En Izwan yg dr blk keje pagi tadi x tdo2 sebab dah jumpa hobi baru .. mengukir..... good for him ... so dia x rase sunyi atau ape2 yg berkaitan .. saya rasa saya nak menjahit la.. weekend ni.. heheh tapi rumah byk brg nak di kemas..

My story

2010-07-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

Ni setelah baca blog jah .... saya rasa saya x nak baca the last song ok! ... dah cukup byk air mata ni ...

Like Jah did .. i really want to share about my story with abah n mak...

Saya ingat zaman kecik2 dulu balik kota bharu mmg best, abah akan selalu bawak kitorang beli makanan dan macam2 kat pasar tani wakaf che yeh ( skarang dah naik taraf jadi pasar borong)

Abah .. pada saya dia tak pernah gagal hantar / jemput anak dia ke/pulang dr sekolah .... sampai skarang pun .. cucu2 masih dihantar dan dijemput abah ...

Dulu abah mengajar kat sekolah padang nenas ... dan setahu saya abah dari cikgu biasa sehingga menjadi guru besar memang sangat disenangi orang ...

abah ajar macam2 lagu unik yg abah reka sendiri ...

Dari form 1 sampai form 3 , saya duk umah, pergi sekolah awal, hari2 abah akan masakkan air panas utk saya mandi ... dan abah akan temankan saya tunggu van kat tepi jalan besar form 1 -2, form 3 van dtg ambik kat dpn rumah ...

masa dpt result pmr saya teruk kena marah dgn abah sbb Matematik dapat B, maka saya belajar sungguh2 sampai dapat A1 masa SPM, masa SPM bila tunjuk je result kata abah (abah tengah tido kat beranda tunggu saya balik ambik result), abah terus bangun dan ambik duit RM100 bg kat saya ..

persediaan nak pegi UUM, abah yg bawak saya g shopping beli barang (masa tu ade stesen bas lama - tepi2 tu ade gerai2... i like the stalls very much.) Banyak benda abah yg pilihkan

masa form 4 - for the first two weeks saya belum dpt asrama, abah hantar saya every day ke sekolah yang jauhnya mengambil masa 45 minit perjalanan. bertolak dr rumah selepas subuh, abah blk balik, ambik adik2 yg lain dan htr ke sekolah sblm abah pun ke sekolah ...

abah came every week to see me at hostel...

masa belajar kat uum ... abah akan masukkan duit utk saya (walaupun kdg2 duit mak) tapi abah yg akan pergi ke bandar .... (so sekarang saya mesti ingat tjawab saya setiap bulan sebelum mereka tanya - jarang sekali abah tanya sebenarnya)

saya masih ingat masa kat na belajar kat SIF ... abah teman kak na naik bas depan simpang awal2 pagi... every day ...

sampai sekarang .. every time balik, abah will be the one who will ask. Nor nak makan pende pagi esok? Every nite .... and every morning ... our fav food were ready on the table bile kitorang bangun ....

hari tu (bulan April) bila abah datang dan batuk teruk sebab duk lama dalam bas, saya tak dapat bayangkan perasaan abah sepanjang perjalanan itu ... dan saya tekad... he shouldn't visit us here anymore... we should return and visit him more often ...

Tapi saya seronok sebab satiap kali raya saya akan belikan baju yg best2 utk abah, dan abah x pernah x pakai .... saya bangga sangat ... ade satu baju tu saya ingat lagi saya beli masa saya kat matrix uum .. harga dia murah je.. xde brand pun .. tapi smapai koyak pun abah jahit balik dan masih pakai ... it was 15 yrs old shirt .... i am really touch every time i saw abah's wearing it...

for me abah taught me so many thing indirectly ...

1. abah mmg buat filing utk semua benda , sampai skarang statistik perbelanjaan bil bulanan masih abah buat .... sbb tu saya sedikit organize dlm buat keje ...
2. abah x ambik pot pasal org ... so saya sgt thankful sbb saya x suke menyibuk pasal org ....
3. we plan our day ... saya pun akan buat list kalau nak g byr bil atau nak g bank .. make sure sume sempat as per planned ...
4. saya juga suke membebel dan cepat naik antu macam abah .... tapi kami pun senang cool down ...
5. Saya pun rasa saya sgt cerewet . sian org2 di sekeliling saya ... (rasanya abg mat is the most cerewet person kalau bab baju kat rumah tu) . ahhaha ..

Apa pun .. abah lah org yg menjadi role model saya ...

Mak ...

masa tadika saya akan meraung dna panjat gerigi besi kat tadika kemas sampai mak dah masuk skolah ....

masa sekolah rendah ... saya ikut je mana mak saya mengajar .... mak saya cikgu kelas saya dr darjah 4-6 ... ahhaha jgn jeles ...

saya rasa dr saya form 1 - form 3 , mak akan buat air milo every day ... ade mee goreng kdg kala .. atau nasi goreng ...

form 4-5 ... mak akan bawak nasi goreng ngan keropok lekor tiap kali visit saya kat hostel... kdg saya terkilan sikap saya masa tu ... selfish.. nak jugak suruh mak abah dtg walau diorg sibuk.... sorry mak dan abah ...

duk uum ... mak akan masukkan duit setiap bulan sampai saya dapat loan .. jadi once saya dpt loan sampai hbs belajar saya sgt bangga sbb saya x penah mintak duit mak lagi ... tapi bile start keje .. co yg saya keje byr gaji saya lambat .. dan duit saving say pun dah hbs... saya x mintak.. tp mak mcm tau

saya rasa mak mmg ade special telepathy ... walau saya x cerita apa2 dia tau bile masa saya tengah frust .. bile masa saya ade prob ... and she used to motivate me most of the time

masa saya beranak .. mak saya jaga saya .. x lama tapi at least mak jaga

sekarang .. saya rasa mak is too old to do house chores and to be worried about the kids.... sbb tu saya x penah cite ape2 lagi kat mak pasal saya (kalau saya ada masalah)

dan bila mak say risau masa saya cakap nak berenti ... saya tau apa mak fikir.. tapi saya terpaksa demi anak2 ... saya x nak anak2 saya hanyut di zaman moden ini ... insya Allah moga ade rezeki saya ...

Mak selalu sakit... saya pun ... ade je sakit saya tapi Alhamdulillah ... x teruk ...s akit biasa2 je...

Saya hanya mampu berdoa ... moga akan diringankan beban mak ... kesian kat mak ngan abah kena fikir macam2 ...

kesimpulannya ... mak n abah have their +ve n -ve side ... but they are the person who brought us to this world, they raise us, feed us, educate us and love us... tapi bile mereka tua ... they still need to think for us ... when they should rest ...

apa pun .. I love Mak & Abah forever ... saya dah ada anak ... saya tau macam mana perasaan mak dan abah ...

can it be considered as salah guna masa?

2010-07-11T23:56:00.001-07:00

salam ...

past few weeks ... i felt different ... something that i've never felt before .. takutnya rasa ... moga Allah bg saya peluang baiki diri ...

starting with accident dgn org bawak parang, lepas tu saya jadi trauma... org nampak saya macam ok.. tp almost a week i cannot hold my pen properly ... and i even signed the cheqs .. wrongly ... seriously .. i couldn't grip the pen properly ...

and i thought it would be temporary ... but i am becoming frightened easier ...

btw ... i've tendered my resignation and my last day in Prima will be on 2 Sept 2010 .. Insya Allah ... counting days is something that i hate the most ... but the time will fly and will never come back.. so appreciate your time well

Sekarang, saya rasa saya perlu bertindak dan berusaha .. saya sgt takut memikirkan apa akan jadi pada anak2 saya masa akan dtg , i've started to enforce no TV half hour before and after maghrib, solat berjamaah during maghrib, Al Quran recitation after Maghrib, these is not for the purpose of letting everyone know, just for my remembrance ...

Dear Kids, mama really hopes and prays that both of u will be anak2 yg soleh dan solehah ... mama jarang2 doa utk anak2 mama jadi pandai ... tapi mama harap anak2 mama jadi org2 yg soleh dan solehah .... yang beriman .. yg sentiasa dilindungi Allah ....

Tak sabar nak habis kerja .. nak duk rumah .. plus we have another bad new related to Mr Hubby's health ... so saya rasa bertanggungjawab utk menjaganya sepenuh hati san kudrat saya ...

Frustration

2010-04-23T01:18:00.000-07:00

I was frustrated and furious these days. there's incident happened here, in my work place. i don't care about the outcome of it. But i really frustrated with the way they handled this matter. from the top person to colleagues. It's not related to me at all, but i felt the anger due to the improper manner of handling it. They claimed they all came from the big company which not allowed those things to happen. I accept it, but is it here the big company? Plus do the company ever give training or course to all staffs related to this matter? It is not right when you want to implement something when u haven't educate people about it.

To make things worst, the so called head of department never called that related person to hear the story from that person side. Is it fair? u called urself the boss yet when something happened to your subordinate you not even called that person to hear the version of her story.

Actually, it happened so many times here, those kind of handling matters. When something went wrong, the subordinate had to suffer alone, but when something went right only the top got the appraisal and praises. What are the purpose of your signatures in every things prepared by your subordinate? (this is not related to current issue, but it always happen here).

Suddenly i was thinking what are the criteria of being a boss :

1) To take care of themselves (most of the time - banyak2 (Nujum Pak Belalang)
2) To take care of themselves and subordinates - jarang2
3) To take care of the subordinates & themselves - Kadang2
4) to take care of the subordinates - sikit2

i'm not sure

2010-04-21T00:57:00.000-07:00

i've been wanting to resign since two years back... i think this year it's gonna be real.

i really want to stay at home... looking after the kids.... it's gonna be tiring work... but at least they are in front of me...

currently i'm selling home made sandwich to prepare myself to be full time housewife... i won't make much but at least i've something to do...

i really not sure and not too happy with the working environment .... i am very frustrated the way they handled things .. really not know how to put in words.... they just listened to certain people and i don't know ... better not to say much...

btw, got a promotion and salary adjustment but hmmmm ... really hard to say .... adjustment of rm380 with the diff of 2 months termination notice .... well accept it for now...

hoping so much that everything will be better for me once i'm staying at home.... but i would really feel the effect financially .... just praying that Allah will always helps us.....

dah 4 bulan x tulis

2010-03-24T21:43:00.000-07:00

dah 3 bulan masuk 2010 .. aku rase ayat plg byk aku sebut ialah x sabarnya nak berenti kerja .. bile ni? kesian kat harris ... kesian kat azrah ... harap2 this year will be the last year aku keje.

nak sambung kisah adam dan nak buat cite baru plak..

hitam putih Kehidupan

2009-11-23T21:46:00.000-08:00

Lihatlah sekitar alam
Dunia luas terbentang
Langit tinggi kebiruan
Pohon-pohon kehijauan
Hembusan bayu yang menyegarkan

Dengarkan di sana-sini
Beburung riang menyanyi
Berbunga aneka warna
Sumber kedamaian jiwa
Mensyukuri nikmat Maha Esa

Begitu berharga kehidupan ini
Bagi mereka yang tahu menghargai
Mengapa terdorong oleh perasaan
Kalau turutkan hati diri menjadi korban

Tiada yang dapat lari dari masalah diri
Hadapi lah dengan tenang
Tiap cabaran yang datang
Atasinya dengan keimanan

Sekadar buat renungan
Untukmu teman tersayang
Hitam putih masa depan
Sendirian menentukan
Hidup ini usah persiakan

lama nya x tulis

2009-11-23T02:08:00.000-08:00

sejak2 ade facebook langsung melupakan blog .... felt very lonely today ..x tau napa ... sedih sangat ... 3 tahun yg membosankan di prima .. bila ye nak dpt keluar dr sini ...

nak lari ke korea .. tapi x de sape boleh bawak .. camne?

The life goes on

2009-06-16T00:18:00.000-07:00

June ... two weeks of school holidays ... a week in Kl and another in KT ... my new nephew ... Muhammad Haziq was admitted to HSNZ in KT on Wed 3/6/2009. He was then admitted to ICU on Thursday nite. He is confirmed to has a hole in his heart. He was discharged from ICu on Saturday and was sent back to ICU on Friday nite. He is currently being prescribed with sleeping medicine. He is still in ICU .. i just can pray for him. But he is so small. He is 3 months old and weighted only 3.8 kg. Poor him.

Nothing much to write. It was so hot in KT. the max degrees was 44 at noon. There's no wind at all.

Went to KB for two days. Met with M Cik Zu (old neighbour). His son, who used to play with me when we was 5/6 is married to my ex-classmate. Hahhaha ... what a story...

Harris went to school (kindergarten) for the first time on Monday 15/6/2009. He was very excited in the morning. He woke up at 6. Today, he cried asking me not to go to work.

Arrrghhh ... i am so lazy to work.. just want to spend my time at home ... doing nothing... heheheh.. is it possibble?

Dou You Know Him

2009-05-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

Found this lyric in youtube .. sang by Mecca 2 Medina feat Raihan

Song title .. dou you know Him?

Sollallahu 'Ala Muhammad
Sollallahu 'Alaihi Wassalam

Do you know him?
His name is Rasulullah (SAW)
Do you know him?
His name is Habibullah
Do you know him?
His name is Sayfullah, who?
Saiyidina Mustaffa

Mecca2Medina give salam
Assalamualaikum
And the crew Raihan give salam
Assalamu'alaikum
All the way from Malaysia to the UK, USA, and Africa
All in Islam,
All over the world
We have to unite because of Allah and him
Who? Rasulullah (SAW)

Allah and the angels shower blessings on the Prophet (SAW)
So we should do it non stop and never stop it
Rasulullah (SAW) is the last messenger
A lamp giving light Allah summones
No one is nearer, clearer to Allah, SubhanAllah
Than our Maulana Habibullah, Sayfullah
The Pure who's purified, the only true guide
Who never ever lied
He must never be denied

If you want salvation
Cream of creation
Owner of the station
That only fit for one man
Peace be on him
Prophet Muhammad, the angels washed him
So that he would never sin
Cleansed his heart from sin
Getting ready for the start of Prophet hood
He stood high above his people
So noble and beautiful
The bringer of the Holy Quran is beautiful

If everyone's a champion, Queen B or Dapper Dan
Or some exaggerated title for their small achievement standings
Then best of creation has to get a mention
Do you hear me? Listen!
Too many miracles we nah go mention...why?
That will only serve as a distraction...and
Raise him to level of exultation..like
Call him soon of God or Son of Creation
AstagFirullah

Yes he was man, but he had so many qualities
Like wisdom, understanding, knowledge and generosity
Would rather starve himself and feed a next somebody
My beloved was the term used by the Almighty
To describe this humble orphan who raised his community
From idol worship, barbarism and ignorancy
To a level of intelect
What changed the course of history?
If everyone's a champion, Queen B or Dapper Dan
Or some exaggerated title for their small achievement standings
Then best of creation has to get a mention
Come Raihan and M2M tell everyone

The first light anticipated formulated
From the this bright light
The whole world was illuminated

Prophet Muhammad ibn Abdullah
The fruitful, dutiful servant of Allah SWT
The walking the Quran who moved the peaceful calm
Who taught the deen clean with his celestial charm
Prophesized, emphasized in the Gospel and Torah

Promised the highest heaven Jannatul Wasilah
A descendent of Ibrahim AS through Ishmael AS
May Allah SWT bless the Muslim ummah with the spiritul seal
Syaitan (laknatullah) wants him to be a mystery
But he's the most influential man in history

P.E.A.C.E Islam, Islam is all about peace
Assalamu'alaikum
Wa'alaikumussalam
P.E.A.C.E Islam, Islam is all about peace
M2M and Raihan in the house

Me, Myself n Mine

2009-04-27T01:59:00.000-07:00

Arrrghhhh ... my entry started with sugh ....

Two weeks ago ... i was mc due to back pain .... three days ago i mc again .. this time shoulder pain ... my shoulder became so stiff that i couldn't manage to lift my arm .... i went to clinic... the doctor suggested me to have a massage. So i went for a massage... the massaeur said that my shoulder was still hard even after 30 minutes of session. Arrgghh ... Now , my thigh is so stiff ... aarrrggghhhh ...

it wasn't the pain that killing me .... but, it's the how the people around treat me whenever i took mc . I got 14 days medical leave to use. So as long as i'm within it .. please do not bother me .

I was expected to live for three months .. i've been living in the incubator for a month. These were what i've been told ... So even though i ate healthy food and did exercise ... My health won't be the same with others . I'm the first person to be infected whenever people around me got sick, but i wasn't sick all the time ... My hands, legs etc will go to numb whenever i sit or sleep in the same position for a long time. Whenever i got pregnant, my red blood cell count was never been good. I drink as much milk as possibble ... i ate as much fruits and vege as possibble. i ate everything ... fishes, red meat, white meat ... potatoes ... everything .. just to ensure that i'll stay healthy. I got migraine easily ...

But every time i got mc, there's certain people who will ask me, don't u take vitamin c? don't u do exercise? Sometimes i will ignore it ... but sometimes ... i felt very bothered about it ... i will just ignore them... i know my body, my helath and my capabilities very well ... it's my life after alll ... why should i've been bothered by those people ....

But i am still grateful... despite of these ... i am still considered as healthy person. Why? Alhamdulillah . I don't have any critical illness ... Alhamdulillah ... on and off to be sick ... Allah is forgiving me for the sins that i did .... Alhamdullillah ... Subhanallah ... Allahu Akbar...

Me n HR

2009-04-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

April is the month for me n Hr to quarrel ....

April First / Fool ... i felt like such a fool ... i departed from home at 7.45 am . Spent almost one and half hours in traffic jam ... reach PJ Hilton for Course scheduled at 9 pm ... 15 minutes later. As soon as i sat ... i didn't even take off my handbag, i received a call from one of HR staff ... actually i do like this staff since he's quite hardworking and doesn't even bother how people treat him .... but April First make me mad at him for the first time ... i remember his words clearly...

" K Zihan, Hari ni K zihan sepatutnya attend MIA Course kat PJ Hilton, tadi MIA call kata K Zihan tidak berada di PJ Hilton."

I was just came in, even the instructor just said hello to me, how should i answer him? ... i just answered " Dah ada dah ni." But truly i really mad. Can't he ask me first. 'K Zihan, Where are you? The MIA called. K Zihan belum sampai ye?' Or is he thinking that i'm going to escape the course costing RM750? am i that crazy... if i really want to spend the Co money ... i will go to many courses as possibble... the knowledge is free after all for me... why should i escape such opportunity? ....

April 6 ... i was just came in to the office after 2 days course and one day EL. When i punched-in, in the morning, my punch card has been written A/L on first of April .. i just let it go... around 9 am .. Our Inspector Gadget called.

"Pn azihan, Puan Azihan AL on first kan? Saya tak dapat cari Puan punya surat cuti, boleh tolong hantar kat Hr dept tak?"

"Boleh tolong check tak mana saya pergi on the first dengan staf Hr yang lain?"

"Iyelah, saya tanya kenapa nak marah? Puan cuti on the first kan?"

"Saya tak cuti on the first ... please check with the others."

"Yelah, orang tanya, tak perlu marah-marah." He hanged up just like that ... i was very mad ... really .... It was me who supposed to hang up that call since he just said whatever he wants without asking.

April 16 ... I came at 8.20 .... i just took my drink when one of my colleague said .. " K Zihan .. Inspector Gadget suruh K Zihan hantar borang cuti before 3pm." I took EL on 14 .. Harris caught fever, I was not feeling well on 15, i took MC ... I was just in for few minutes ... I don't know ... Why are they picking at me? .

Sometimes i feel really sad... when i don't even bother what other people are doing and always try to help others .. to ease their burden .... why on earth they're trying to fight with me? i just don't understand ...

Maybe .. it's part of Allah trial on me... How patience i am ... just bear with it Azihan .... Astaghfirullahalazim.....

I have a serious problem....

2009-04-15T06:51:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to write it ... i think the problem is visiting me again... hahhaha what a nice word i used. I felt very lazy these days. Especially in doing office works. At home, nothing much to do actually ... just ignore all the headache at home...

I don't know whether this is a coincidence or not, but i can see that whenever i'm in messy mood ... the same thing happened to my sis ... Nae ... poor her .. just pray for her that everything will come and go smoothly .... cincaaaa ...

It's been almost a month since my last entry ... it's not that i had been busy ... but i had been lazy ... hhahahahah

so ... any good or bad news in between? ...

Harris caught a fever 2 days ago... his temp hit 39.1 degrees .... the most active person in this house caught fever .... but fortunately it's only for a day... i kept him wet and cold the whole night ... fortunately ... the temp went down to 36.7 on the day after ... Alhamdulillah ...

Went to MIA course in PJ on 1-2/4/2009 ... it was really cracking my head ... i didn't even know what i had practiced before this... lots of things to catch up ... still less time n guidance...

what else? miss my mgmt meeting on 1/4 ... took El on 3/4 ... not feeling good after cracking my brain during the course and cramping my body in the traffic jam... had an argument with one of HR staff .. he said i didn't apply for my leave on first of April... Check it again ... where did i go on the first .. it's not that i went to the course using my own name... it's under co's name plus under HR approval..... herkkkk ...

Still attending the Kursus Haji .. one of the partcipant said that her appeal had been rejected ... we didn't even appeal yet .... the money is yet to be enough plus ... we kept on spending .... aaaahhhh .. i just hope that if we can't make it this year ...i just hope that Allah will invite us to His home next year ... really want to ... it's really touching every time we did the talbiah ... i miss Him so much ... wants to visit Baitullah as soonest as i can ... i just want to be the good person. Just want Allah to forgive me on every wrongdoings i had done .... Insya Allah .. Amin..

anything else? ... hmmm we're going to buy azrah an electronic piano .. cost almost RM3K with 12 installment .... i don't even know whether my decision is right or wrong ... aaahhhhh .... confuse....

i had a backpain today .... really not comfortable with it ... got mc ... miss another Mgmt Meeting even though i had prepared all the materials needed.. not sure what had happened during the meeting ... will know about it tmrw.... just pray for the best ....

Insya Allah .... with the God will

I've been busy ...

2009-03-19T01:50:00.000-07:00

2009 ..i don't even have time to think whether i'm demotivated or not. Unlike 2008, this year has been a very busy year for me. Starting from January till today ...

First week of March
Right after we came back from PD, still in happy mood, we had been raid by IRB on Monday - looking for all documents covering Y/E 2002-2007. From Monday to Tuesday I've been busy with all the reports for Mgmt Meeting on Wednesday. The second Mgmt meeting i had attended. My part only on KPI. But, it's not easy to come with the KPI. I've to close my monthly accounts, I've to extract all the Purchases and Sales made in KG and from there only i can came out with the KPI. I planned to finish my Nov & Dec Report which had been delayed for months, but the system did not operated so well. I ended up to finish only my Nov report.
Saturday, i went to my first Kursus Haji at UPM Mosque. The speaker is quite good. But it's still early. I just hope that i can learn and Allah will help me to easily learn every step of perfoming Haj. Insya Allah. Right after the Kursus, I went to the office for a while to finish my January Accounts which is supposed to be finished on Friday, however due to malfunction of the internet & server connection, i couldn't manage to made it done. We had satay Kajang Haji Samuri at Kesas Highway for dinner. Sunday, brought the kids to MMU swimming pool for swimming class. After that we went to Bdr Bkt Puchong to have lunch. After lunch we went for CRV test drive. We're actually wanted to test drive Civic & Altis. But both of them not available for test drive on that day.

Second week of March
9th was public holiday but wan was working that day. Nothing much except i was still busy with my works for the whole week. I couldn't even manage to check my facebook thoroughly. Weekend, went for second session of Kursus Haji. Right after that we headed to KL and had lunch in Kuchai Lama before went to MATTA Fair. This time, we didn't buy any package , but the tickets cost to Vienna for 4 are less that RM9k. but we couldn't go this year. I met ZZ, ex-U colleague. She's still the same. with the same guy. i wondered whether are they already married? There were performances during the fair, I was attracted to Korean songs of course. Spent time until 6 pm. My husband and i had massage session by the blind associations. We went out for dinner at Mcd later that night. Sunday, the same schedule, kids got swimming class, but more on Azrah since Harris is quite playful. We went for Eejai's wedding reception in Damansara before finally rest at home.

Third Week of March
Monday, azrah's on a week holiday. still busy, with many staffs on holiday, i've to work doubled for the next meeting on Wednesday. I had to finish my Feb acc. I didn't get the memo for the meeting, the meeting was rescheduled to earlier time on Wednesday. Even though with the time and manpower constraint, i managed to finish it. But there was still question i couldn't manage to answered. That's my homework.

That's all... there's no life at all... wasn't it? had been busy for the entire days in 2009.

Family Day PD- Picture Summary II

2009-03-10T22:39:00.000-07:00

Picture Summary Family Day PD 28/2 - 1/3/09

2009-03-02T13:28:00.001-08:00

Tak sempat nak mengarang .. ni part 1 of the pictures summary.. sbbnya.. these are from my cam... akan upload lagi dr sumber yg lain...

we won family plg sporting ...

Picture Summary - 30 Jan - 22 Feb 09

2009-02-24T03:49:00.001-08:00

KL Plaza Suite - Family Gathering 20 - 21/2/2009
Appearance : Anyah's family, Busu n Busu Zaki, Acik's family, Ara n us

Sunway Pyramid - Going out with Deq Nor n Nae - sunway Pyramid - 15 Feb 2009

azrah's birthday (30/1/2009) n Chicken Ginseng Soup (Korean Style)

Updates - Feb - Family gathering Month

2009-02-22T20:23:00.000-08:00

February ... hectic month for me... there's no weekend without movement .... is there any sentence phrase like that... hahhha ...

February 2009

I have to finish my mgmt accounts for audit scheduled on 5th (later postponed to 10t). There are 4 co's under my responsibility. 2 dormants n 2 actives cos. I've took a day to finish both of dormants co. Took almost a week to finish the actives. I've to check, reconcile, recheck and finalise the mgmt accts. Prepare all the schedule needed. It's seems really easy and little task when i wrote it here, but it's more than that. i tried to postpone the audit for 2-3 days but the auditor couldn't agree since they've got another commitment later. Stick with the agreed date, i managed to finish it on time. Fortunately, 9th is a holiday for KL n S'ngor but not us. so the mgmt acc ready at 1.30pm on 10th.

4/2/09 - Sent my car for service + changed the timing belt ... it cost me RM459... walla...

6/2/2009 - Was the most hectic day for me. Went to EPF - applied for monthly wdrawal for house loan, approved for Haizrul but not mine. I later applied for reducing House Loan, approved. Haizrul brought back K long to our house. Lunch, went back to fetch K long. sent her to UKM, back at off at 3.30.. took my lunch. Been asked to collect cheque at KLIA, rush to get 4.20 train. Arrived at KLIA at 4.38. Collected cheque, rush to perform Zohor prayer. Wait till Asar. Arrived office at 6.00 pm. Punched out at 6.15. Fetch K Long from UKM.

7/2/2009 - At home, finally... but i do remember i was still busy on that day, but i couldn't remember what did i do except for went for groceries.

8/2/2009 - Bought gifft for marlin newborn daughter and Ariff's housewarming party. Sent K Long to Kajang bus station to buy tickets and then to UKm to meet her lecturer.

9/2/2009 - Busy with the preparation for audit

10/2/09 - 13/2/2009 - Audit Y/E 31/12/2008

Got letter from EPF - approved for Haizrul n mine a day later

14/2/2009 - Azrah went to school - replacement class for CNY

15/2/2009 - Met Dik Nor n Nae - They went for ice skating while i was the photographer. Ate sushi at sushigrove ... wandering around till 6pm. It was our 8th anniversarry. Nothing much for the celebration....

16/2/2009 - Got the money from EPf (haizrul's part)

17/2/2009 - Got a notification that my cheq ready at EPf

18/2/2009 - got 3 new tyres for my Kelisa - RM375

19/2/2009 - Collect cheq at EPF

20/2/2009 - wan bank in the cheq to eoncap - so we don't have to pay for the next 10 months.
6.15pm rush to Kl - family gathering at KL Plaza suites. mcik's family, busu n busu zaki, anyah's family, ara n us. It's Mcik's birthday. went to Kl Pav ... ate dinner together.

21/2/2009 - spent the whole half day cathcing up n gossipping while eating n munching. Went to Kl Pav for a while. Went back home at 3pm. Spent the rest hours at home watching SUJU life journal--- is that the title... not sure.

22/2/2009 - Went to Shah Alam. Fetch Nae . Looking for lunch at 11.30 am.. so it's supposed to be called as brunch... most of the restaurants not serve the lunch yet. Ended up ate at Seksyen 7 - nearby UNISEL. Went to Meka's shop, MPH and wandering around. Went back after sending nae's back. arrived home at 6pm. Watched Slum Dog Millionaire .... it's a good movie... Went to get our fresh fishes ordered from wan's friend. Went to see mrlin new born daughter. She so small n so cute...

I'll post the pictures later ... maybe after this weekend... since we've family day for the co on 28/2 -1/3/09. Till then...

adiosssss

Just ignore my spelling n everything... just to lazy to type yet too much to type....

It's inspiring me

2009-02-12T20:38:00.000-08:00

STAY THE SAME
Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you?re better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,
cuz there?s nothin' 'bout you I would change.

I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize,
all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.

Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.

MY WISH
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice,
and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
and if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' 'til you find the window,
if it's cold outside,
show the world the warmth of your smile,
more than anything,
more than anything,
My wish,
for you,
is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big,
your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you,
and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back,
but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you,
in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive,
and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace,
in every mistake,and you always give more then you take.
But more than anything,
Yeah, and more than anything,
My wish,
for you,
is that this life becomes all that you want it,
to your dreams stay big,
and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you,
and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
My wish,
for you,
is that this life becomes all that you want it,
to your dreams stay big,
and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you,
and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
yeah this is my wish o0o0o0o0o0o0i hope you know somebody loves youmay all your dreams stay big

What's happening in Perak?

2009-02-05T06:13:00.000-08:00

Some said that they were paid ... they claimed they just find new house... Wow .. it's really easy to move house. Isn't it? Even to move from one rented house to another it's gonna take some time, money and effort. So, are they thinking of this within these 2-3 weeks, or was it 2-3 months or was it from the start? Secondly, how much money would be involved? If u don't like the house you've rented, you may move but it would cost some money. Definitely. Effort, have you ever try to make the house as convenience as possible. Sometimes, we used to blame others, but have we ever thinking about ourselves? Are we that good or innocent not to be accused or blamed?

How about the people? They voted for them... they supposed to hear what their people want to say about this. Seriously, if the people knew this kind of people they had voting for .... will they been voted again in next election?

In the first place, don't they have any pride at all.. or are they been threatened to death if they stayed with Pakatan Rakyat?

I don't care if they want to change their point of view... even their principles .. just resign... let the people choose by themselves again.

I don't know how the politicians in this country think. Sincerely, have they ever think about the people? Sometimes i felt that we've been betrayed by them. They promised lots of things during election, but where's the implementation? When the goods price hiking like crazy? What are they doing? Sugar case, why are they announce that it's going to be a price increment after CNY? Why are they doing it? Then they blame the sellers for reducing the supplies? Are the people in KHEDN really that dumb? They should know very well how the speculations work. Or are they got anything to do with it?

That's the reason why i like the Greatest love of All...

Here's for them...

I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone's shadows
If i fail, if i succeed
At least i live as i believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

Why i like this song

2009-01-22T18:10:00.000-08:00

George Benson - The Greatest Love of All

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they posses inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody is searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So i learned to depend on me

I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone's shadows
If i fail, if i succeed
At least i live as i believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love.

i learnt something again...

2009-01-14T06:22:00.000-08:00

even though there's always a say that friends are when we face the tide and low together... but i always feel the other way around... because they are only friends... Not real friends... the real friends or can we say friend? will.

Something happened at Seremban, poor my husband. Seriously, he's the person who always need to suffer alone. They laugh, they share, they ask for helps, when they need him. But when he needs someone, there is always somebody who is unexpected to be with him, where's the one who call him brothers, relatives and friends? Where are they? He's not even asking for money, he's only asking for someone to be with him at this moment, is that too hard to fulfill? It's not the first time, i always ask my husband where are those who called u friend in this kind of situation... he would answer me with laugh...

Never mind, just let them be, I will stay right here, next to you, in front of u, behind of u. I will be whereever u want me to be. Because we are PARTNER. We faced everything till today on our own, we made it. So no matter what happen in the future, let's face it together again.

Bukit Tinggi & Lentang - 10-11 Jan 2009

2009-01-12T22:25:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, we went to Bukit Tinggi and Lentang. We stayed at Meranti Park Suite for one night two days. It's actually a department trip. We planned this trip a month ago. We booked two apartments, but at first we only abled to get one apartment, three dyas before departure, i received a call from my uncle said that i got one FOC apartment.

They were 8 adults and 6 children altogether. We went with three cars. We checked in at 3pm at the Golf Club. We got two apartments situated far from each other. So we gathered at Chengal Block. We brought lots food with us. Two days of eating and leisuring(is there any word of that?).

First day,
3pm - checked in

4pm - lunch with sambal udang, ayam masak putih, ikan tenggiri masak lemak, udang dan ayam celup tepung dan sayur campur.
5.30pm - went for a tour - japanese tea garden
7.00 pm - colmar tropicale

8.00 pm - went back to apt

9.00 pm - dinner with balance lunch foods plus tomyam and telur dadar.

10.00 pm - split for bed time

Second day:

6.15 am - wake up

9.15 am - dress up and packing

10.15 am - breakfast at Chengal with sandwiches, mee hoon goreng

12.00 pm - checked out

12.30 pm - Lentang

3.00 pm - went back

8th Anniversarry

2009-01-12T05:09:00.000-08:00

This coming 15th February is going to be our 8th wedding anniversary. Why this entry has been created earlier .. because i like this song very much :

Fauziah Latif - Dari Kaki Tangga ke Menara

Peruntukan secebis demi masa nan terlupa
Mengimbasi kembali suka duka masa nan silam
ditempuhi bersama setiap cabaran yang datang
Pengalaman yang pahit dan manis tak terlupakan

Dari bawah setangga ke setangga kita mendaki
kita jatuh terluka dan bangkit melangkah kembali
dengan rasa percaya pada keupayaan diri
tiada yang mustahil dihadapi

Demikian kebalnya ikatan kita
demikian eratnya jalinan rasa
Keyakinan diiringi doa
Begitu percintaan kita sebati dengan cita-cita
Merancang kehidupan hari muka

c/o :
Aku gembira menyaksikan
Kau beroleh kejayaan
dulu di kaki tangga
kini di menara

Jangan kau lupa masa silammu
dan mereka yang membantu
moga tak kau abaikan amanah dan kewajipan

We've been through so much for the past eight years. We started from zero, fresh graduate got married at the age of 22 and 23. We got Azrah when i was 23 and Wan was 24. We learnt alot. Wan did a lot, he's not an egoist husband when it's come to the kids matters. He did everything what a mother will do. From the day they were born, he was the first person to hold them, not me. He look after them when they got sick, when i had no more annual leave to apply.

We used to live at a three bedrooms apartment with only one bathroom. Our master bedroom that time was almost the same size with our fifth room today. Even today's apartment was not as big as others would have, but it's our own. We bought it. We bought it! We used to buy second hand car which brokedown every weak. But now we own brand new car one each. I don't care what our cars' brands are, the most importantly, we managed to buy them. We've travel alot since our first year of marriage, Azrah had been to every Peninsular Malaysia states. But, during Harris time, he went to Korea and HK before even finish his tour in his own country.

It's really touch me, we've been through 8 years together, 7 years with Azrah and three and half years with Harris. We have endured the pain and the penniless time. It still came to my mind the time when we have to collect our coins to eat, We've been through it.

What i will never forget, we won't sacrifies anything when it comes to food. We ate what we wanted. How fortunate Azrah and Harris, at their age, they got most of everything the kids nowadays want.

Even though, we're quite comfortable these days, if i'm going to be asked, when was my unforgetabble moment, i would choose the years when we lived at only a small apartment but i could look after Azrah on my own. I really wish i could do the same with Harris, But he's already three and is going to be four this August.

Azrah's piano concert and her first day at school

2009-01-09T16:51:00.001-08:00

On 21st December 2008, Yamaha held a graduation concert at Jusco Equine Park, Azrah been learning piano for two months, had performed Twinkle twinkle little star solo. Even though she forgot her introduction speech, but she played quite well after that. Here some pictures.

On 5 January 2009, Azrah went for her first day to S.K Cyberjaya. She has been placed at 1 Uranus for temporary, before they sort them by their academic level. I waited for her until 10.30, when she had to take her test. She even asked me to go. The second day, i just left her by the gate, after ten minutes, i went to check whether she got to the right class or not. But she appeared to be at the hall with the other students. So, i left her. Here are some pictures on her first day at school.

My Kids

2009-01-05T00:52:00.000-08:00

Azrah
- 7 this year
- independent
- creative
- imaginative
- in her own world
- soft spoken
- doesn't care about others
- she cried when his brother been scolded
- into every pink item
- she likes to try something new
- she know how to use pc, hp and games w/o guide - on her own initiative

Harris
- 3 years old
- active but very attached to me
- fierce but sensitive
- a follower
- doesn't care about her sister
-Yakult lover
- into Power Rangers n Mickey Mouse
- anything bought for him, won't last long

Both are differents in every way but one thing that is similar

both are my kids, i gave birth to them ... how different both of them they are still my sweethearts

BUSY TAPI MALAS

2009-01-05T00:29:00.000-08:00

Permulaan 2009, i have :

1. Physical Stock Take - 2 january 2009 - done - ended up to count stock in coldroom with temp minus 18 to 20 degrees for two hours.

2. Interim Audit scheduled on 5th jan 09 - postpone to 7 due to my boss on his AL.
Opening balance - checked but not tally - damn it , i hate it when this happen.
Transactions for jan up to aug 2008 - still doing it. to be accurate .i'm still waiting them to do it
management account for period ended 31/8/08 - couldn't been printed due to above reason.
To make it worse - the IT dept did a data migration resulted system couldn't been use .. hahaha - what an excellent job

3. Year ended 31/12/2008 audit - scheduled on 1 february 2008 - is it possibble?

That's my formal duty...

the others:

Kisah Adam - going to 10th chapter - suddenly felt very tired to think... so i'm going to stop for a while

Azrah formally attend school. - first day - it was today - i waited for her until 10.30 when she asked me to go back. Then her KAFA class - her bus came at 3.30 when she waited since 2.30

Harris - his voice sound so sad when i called him just now... aaarghhh.. how i wish i can stay at home to settle azrah n harris matters.

MY WISH...

Macam - macam

2009-01-03T21:36:00.000-08:00

Hari ini terasa nak menulis catatan di dalam Bahasa Melayu, mungkin sebab sekarang tengah sibuk pasal PSSMI kot. Jadi rasa ada keinginan nak memartabatkan kembali Bahasa kebangsaanku ini.

Dua hari lepas baru bercakap pasal betapa aku tak suka orang yang meminta-minta, balik dari kerja hari yang sama, Jaga kat depan rumah tu mintak duit dengan aku. Ini bukan berapa banyak dia minta, tapi mengapa dia pilih aku untuk diminta, seorang perempuan. Katanya dia belum makan, dapatlah kiranya aku belanja dia sepuluh ringgit untuk makan. Padahal, ramai lagi orang lain. Atau aku bukan orang pertama yang kena. Kisahnya, sebab sticker parking aku sudah tamat tempoh, bayaran untuk pembaharuan sudah dibayar, emnunggu mendapatkan pelekat itu sahaja. Mungkin dia mengambil kesempatan di atas itu, akhirnya aku hanya memberitahu, aku akan menyuruh suami aku untuk turun menghantar duit.

Balik, sebaik diberitahu hal itu, suami aku yang tengah syok baring terus bangun, panas hati, orang minta duit dengan isteri dia. Dia turun pergi jumpa Jaga tu. lepas tu dia call AJK bahagian sekuriti, lagi panas hati dia, Jaga itu cerita kat dia kata aku yang tawarkan duit itu sebab aku tak ada lot parking. Memang patut suami aku mengamuk pun. malam tu, kami turun jumpa Jaga kat bawah, tapi Jaga yang berkenaan dah habis kerja.

Kesimpulannya, baru je aku bercerita tentang apa yang aku tak suka, benda yang aku tak suka itulah yang terjadi kat aku dua hari berturut-turut. Maka hari ke tiga dlm tahun baru, aku buat keputusan untuk duduk di rumah.

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T17:00:00.000-08:00

It's 2009. Azrah is going to school in 5 days time.

Haaaa... it's so difficult to express ... nothing really matter actually, whether it's 2008 or 2009. But really, something is bothering me at the time... why? There's always time that i hope it's over but it's still going on... I couldn't elobarate in details... since it's quite private .. family matter.. but i need to let it go.. so i have to write here..

I really don't like it when we help or give something to others, they expect more. It's doesn't mind if we offer it sincerely, but it's different when people is expecting it from us. Sometimes, it's not the money that i really count, the way people treat us who gave them money and expecting it all the time. How sad i am.

My first day of the new year is not as cheerful as i hope it to be. Hopefully, the rest of 364 days in this year will be better than today.

Happy New Year to all.

it's a new year in islamic calendar

2008-12-28T19:09:00.000-08:00

today is 29 december 2008, three days to new year. However, in Islamic Calendar, today is a new year, 1 Muharram 1430H. There's something that i pray and wish for that i can't fulfill.

Awal Muharram is supposed to be a new platform ofr everybody.. so do i.. so i don't think i have to wait until 2009 appear. I'm praying that i will be a better muslim, wife, mother and daughter to all related people in my life.

2008 - the achievement?
- what can i write for the achievement? What's there for me to get it done when it was early 2008? But 2008 can be considered as my stress year. I have lots of things that i depressed of.. my works .. my life that i've got so much to do yet i couldn't do it... but the end of the 2008 is quite brightful..

2008 - i've been for an oversea trip for the first time and counting ... i've been to korea in May and Hk in November. The holidays were the most unforgettable memories in my life. Both of the visits were specials. Korea - that's where i want to go - the most, HK - that's where we did our travel on our own . we depends on ourselves and i was very happy coz no matter where we went, we still can perform our prayers as best as we could.

2008- spiritual - i felt quite bored with my works and workplace. I hate it the most when i've to do something against my principle. Even though, i went for an interview at the end of the year, still i haven't decide where to go. Ya Allah! Please guide me.

2009 - anticapations:

What's the main thing i'm anticipating for this coming new year?

1. To have better working spirit - no matter where i choose
2. To save lots of money -hoping that this year we won't spend money uselessly
3. This year - i'm planning to visit :
January - Bukit tinggi on 10th, Kuching on 17th and Azrah's birthday on 25th
February - nothing scheduled yet - but i'm planning to stay at home for the whole month and it's our anniversary
March - Singapore if possible
April - Nothing in my schedule. Maybe somewhere near
May - went back to Terengganu for the first time in this year
June - Stay at home and it's wan's birthday
July - I really want to go to Bandung, is it possible?
August - it's already fasting month and it's my birthday and harris's
September - Hari Raya - a lot to spend
October - hopefully that i can go to Mecca this year. Haji Akbar is expected this year. Insya Allah - Amin.
November - In Mecca - Insya Allah
December - Nothing Scheduled yet - maybe to Terengganu.

and it's already a year ....

4. I pray to have a good health this year
5. I hope that my kids will be very obedient and healthy this year
6. I hope that our family will be happy forever
7. I plan to buy new house this year
8. I plan and pray to perform Haji this year - Insya Allah
9. I plan to have better job this year
10. I plan to finish at least 2 of my stories... Insya Allah...

2008 - i did a lot of thinking during this year. I got the answer for some of it, i am still thinking for the most of it and i don't even have a clue for few of it... how tough.

Tgh menyibukkan diri

2008-12-23T22:08:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning, while i was writing my Kisah Adam, suddenly my daughter came and said

"Mama, Kak Ani (my maid) nangis."
I wonder why. I never scold her until she's crying. Still wondering, i asked her.

While sobbing, she answered " Kakak saya meninggal, kak!"

I was speechless, then i just left her in her room still sobbing and talking to her relative in Medan.

My two kids try to so called 'comfort her' by staying by her side. I didn't know what to do. So i just let her be by herself and tried to bring the kids out of her room. But they refused. so i just let them be. In the afternoon, while she was already calm, i asked her.

"Ani nak balik ke?" she said never mind kak.

that evening, azrah got piano concert, i tried to asked her to go together, she refused, so i just leave her at home.

Azrah performed at 7.40 pm. Before the performing, she forgot her introduction speech, and she went like this

"My name is Azrah ...." she stopped and sighed "Mmmm"
She started once again " Hello, everybody, i am azrah ...." and again she stopped and sighed
"mmmmm ..... Hello everybody, i am azarh, today i'm gonna play twinkle - twinkle little star" finally she said with my help of course, while she's staring at my lips movement. Then she performed it solo. How sweet. Unfortunately, i didn't capture it in video format. they were only pictures. But i will post it later.

Then we went to have dinner, Azrah chose the place of course. We had siakap stim, tomyam, sotong celup tepung, kerabu mangga and telur dadar. We got back at home at 9 pm. When we arrived, Ani was nowhere to be found, before Azrah came and told me, "K Ani nangis lagi mama". So i went to her room and once again, i asked her whether she wanted to go back or not. She said no need, so i offered to sent her to her aunt's house in SA, also she rejected it. She said, she gonna go there this weekend after all. so i just let her be. I went to read my new bought Jemari seni novel Tunas and it was then my husband called me.

"Pergilah tanya Ani, kot dia nak balik."
"Saya baru lepas tanya dia, dia kata tak nak."
"Pergilah tanya balik, dia ada kat luar tu."

So i got up and got her.

"Ani nak balik ke?"
"Boleh ke kak?"
"Kalau Ani nak balik, bolehlah."
"Seminggu pun jadilah kak."
"Tapi mungkin naik feri je lah sebab tiket kpl terbang takut dah mahal."
"Tapi saya mahu pinjam duit kak."
"Iyelah, takpelah, akak bagilah."

So my husband called her aunt in SA , asked about the ferry from klang to Medan, it will take 7 hours costing RM2++ return. So i asked my husband to checked the airasia ticket. There's Monday's morning ticket, will depart at 8.30am from LCCT and will be coming back from Medan on 30th. It cost RM594. I told her about the fare and promise to pay for her half of the fare, she agreed. I bought it and told her. I asked her to pack since she supposed to check in at 6.30am the following morning. she just nodded. I asked my husband to withdraw the money she needed and change it to rupiah. It was 10.00 at the time we were busily discussed and acted. The following morning my husband sent her to LCCT and i tooak an EL for that day.

So for the past 2 days, i've been occupying myself with house chores and office works. House chores that i seldom do since we got maid, like mopping the floor, doing the dishes, clean up and all sort of that kind of works. It's tiring me. So i couldn't even touch my blog at all.

i'm thinking, is it possibble for me to finish my Kisah Adam plus I got a stock take scheduled to be done on Jan 2, Interim Audit Jan 5, and Final Audit Feb 2. Shalalla. so i will try my best on everything. at least my life is living at this end of the year. I'm smiling because i am busy even to feel bore.

Pros n Cons

2008-12-17T05:59:00.000-08:00

I wrote this entry in the middle of writing my Kisah Adam. While i was writing it, Harris came, he purposely said something that i never allow him to say. At the same time i was thinking was it because he never been to school? so i was thinking the pros n the cons of having maid at home.

pros:

1. The house will always clean/neat
2. I don't need to think about chores
3. We can ask for meals anytime

Cons:
1. I'm not sure what she taught my kids at home
2. i'm not sure how she treated my kids
3. And most importantly how do i know who's she has friend with.

And i am very angry right now. I've been receiving calls from unknown man who wants to talk to my maid's friend. How did he knew my number? And i don't have a place to shout it out!

i really feel like retiring now! Arrrghhhh.

Harris oh harris

2008-12-15T18:01:00.000-08:00

He was scolded again last night. He purposely pulled azrah's hair in order to grab her new year calendar. He ignored my words when i asked him to return one of the calendar to azrah. In return he had been scolded by his abah.

Before that, as soon as i arrived home, he told me that he hurt himself while playing at the playground. He bruised his knee. it's hard for him to fold his leg afterwards. Poor my little Harris.

It's harris day. he didn't allow me to hug him since he said that i might hurt his knee. Oh my dear Harris.

This morning, he still asleep went i got out from home, as soon as i arrived at my carpark, he cried from the balcony, he asked me many times where am i going. i replied him that i'm going to work. But he just keep asking while crying. Finally he asked for car riding. It's hurt to see him crying in the early morning, so i agreed while glance to the clock. it's almost 8. My office hour start at 8.15. I've got 15 minutes extended time from the official office hours. It took me 20-30 minutes to reach office. So just gamble it. I brought him around the block. He seems okay when i leave him at 8.05am.

Tak nak tukar kerja!!!

2008-12-14T05:51:00.000-08:00

i really don't understand myself... i neither want to stay at my current workplace nor the new offered workplace. The reason why:

current workplace:
- too many politics
- the works became dull

new:
- i don't want to start all over again
-i'm not in the good mood to work anymore.

Please, help me.

i'm bored!

Tengah Membusykan diri

2008-12-14T02:13:00.000-08:00

I am currently trying to occupy myself with writing. I'm in the mood right now. My husband did complain why did i only write early and end of the year? Maybe that's the best time i got the idea. it's monsoon season by the way. It's cold.

i promised myself to at least try to finish kisah adam. Can i make it before the end of the year?

Last Raya Haji, My back and chest felt uncomfortable. i went to KTS and the doctor said that my fourth rib is not okey. it might be swollen or something. but i had difficulties in sleeping and sitting. So the doctor shot me with the injection. It's better, but still i felt not so good. Why at the age of 30 i got so many illness. i will try to do more exercise later on...

summary of the week

2008-12-12T19:41:00.000-08:00

went back to terenganu on 7th december, a day before celebrating eid-adha. The traffic was smooth until we entered Kemaman, up until Dungun, the traffic was quite slow. We departed at 10am from our apartment in seri Kembangan and reached my parents house at 8pm... it's quite a long journey. 10 hours. Azrah asked me why didn't we took flight... it's faster. i told her .. it's not quite practical during monsoon season and hari raya. There would be lots of thing to be brought.

During the trip, it was raining all days until we reached Dungun. Even the temperature dropped down to 24 degree celcius at noon in Pahang area.

At first i planned to spend the whole week there, however i got a call from PASB on Tuesday asked me to come for an interview... i asked for friday.. it's the last day of working days there. so i could spend more hours in Trg.

The interview, post and changing workplace... i'm tired of those. i hope this would be the last.. i'm retiring soon. i've already gave my husband a year notice to it... i really want to enjoy spending time with the kids and writing. My husband keep asking me, when will i write the novel. do it. i will !! i really want to at least finish one work. They're lots of authors nowadays... so i have to work hard. i really admire syud, hlovate and k su... they wrote nice stories and fresh.. i liked their writing style very much especially Syud's Tentang Dhiya ( i read for 5 times already), K Su's SUUN (more than 5) Hlovate's 5 tahun 5 bulan (uncounted). Currently i'm addicting to fanfiction at soompi... some were great. ignored the grammaticals errors... since i myself not that good.

Back to the week summary, i came back to selangor on 11th.. arrived at 2am..we departed from Kt at 4pm... we bought tart nangka on the way back.. it was so good. went to the interview the next day... at 3pm... wan, helped me with the intro speech. he drove me to the PASB.. both of us had a very little sleep last night.. i'm attached to Panggil aku Dahlia. K Su's new work. I'm nort really in the mood to attend interview, cahnging job etc... but since i'm already bored at that place plus the offer is quite great, might as well just grabbed it for the finishing. i really want to retire. 2010 is my goal. hopefully, i can make it.

Do u know why i lost my patience?

2008-11-29T05:40:00.000-08:00

There were lots of incidents that made me lost my patience recently. I start with the incident while i was in HK.

I changed my maybankard 2 days before i left for HK. it's a Debit Card. Once i received my Debit Card, the personnel in charge just ask me to change my pin number only, without gave me any pamphlet or instructions on how to use the Debit Card. I've deposited half of my expenses for HK into the accounts seems they said it safer and can be used anywhere throughout the world. They also assured me that i can withdraw my money anywhere i want as long as they got the PLUS sign. I'm very confident about the guarantee.

While we were in HK, i tried to withdraw my money through lots of local and international ATMs. But they couldn't read my card. The machine shown the message of please contact the card provider. After few trials, i decided on making call to Maybankard Centre in KL using the provided number for oversea. My brand new Samsung SGH U-700 also challenged my patience.. once i pressed the button for the next menu, the call ended. It's an overseas call. how many times need i to make that call. My husband, knowing that i'm gonna explode anytime on that moment, decided to call the centre using his hp. Fortunately he made it. But definitely the customer service personnel need to speak directly with me. He said that i had to activate my international usage first before i can use it. Sarcastically, i answered, the personnel in charged never tell me that i have to. Do they think i knew how the bank and the card work? Did she think that i'm also working with the bank, fortunately the customer service personnel could handle me. Thanks Mr Harris. He said that he could activate it for me so that i can use it after 10 minutes. After asking more or less about my personal details and accounts, he asked me whether i want to activate it temporarily or permanently. i answered straight away .. without thinking ... permanently... why i have to activate it every time i'm going out of country ... am i crazy? just to spend my money on the phone bills? ok ... it's not the end with my new Maybank Debit Card. Wait ... while i realizing it ... It's a Maybank Debit Card ... and Maybank is a Malaysian Company. But i wonder why the Debit Card itself illustrated with the Cherry picture? Why not Durian? Why not Mangosteen or Rambutan?

Ok back to my precious Maybank Debit Card story. I finally succeed to withdraw my money. After three days in HK city we went to Disneyland HK at Lantau Island. The first attempt to use my Debit Card was a failure.The Cashier needed to try for few times before the transactions succeed. The next transactions ... remain a failures. So i ended up could use the Debit Card 3 times only while i was in HK. Before the withdrawal issue, i tried to use it when i bought a brooch at Jacky Chan's Jewellery Store, but it couldn't be read. I ended up using my Direct Access CCard. But fortunately, when i went to Hard Rock Cafe HK, the transaction succeed. So the total of usage through my worldwide accepted Debit Card were 3 times only.

For continuous great services from Maybank, i deposited some money through a CDM at a petrol station in BB Bangi. it resulted of the machine went out of service as soon as i put my money into the machine without printing my receipt. I called the Maybankcard Centre again for this month, he said that they might take 3-7 working days. i said .. it's my money ... why must u take so long to give my money back! i want it on monday. i need to use that money plus it's not a small amout. He didn't give my case id ... my husband also called the bank centre to get the cse id ... but definitely they won't allow it... he said that he will call me directly to give my case id .. but he didn't until i made a call back to get it. On Monday i called once again ... i said i want that money asap. i asked for the direct contact no for the person in charge. He said he didn't have it, he said that he will follow up for me, i said it's not ur money .. i knew very well how maybank works when it's come to custome's matter. i will follow up my money by myself. He said that he didn't have the contact no, i said i'll call him back at the afternoon. i want my money by today!!.
But i didn't call him since i checked my account, the money is still not there, i was also tired of fighting with them ... the first thing i did when i was in the office the next day, i called the bank centre again. this time the person in charge, MAS said that the bank is still not operated yet, she will call me at 11 to update me. fine, i'll wait i said. 11 Sharp, i received a call from MAS mentioned that the CDM did face some problem, the technician nedd to go to the petrol station CDM to get the report manually, the report should be received by 4. she promised t call me back at 4. Fortunately she did, same as before exactly at 4 pm she called, said that money did stucked there, and will be deposited to my account by tonite but i only can use it by tomorrow at 7am. i thanked her not because of the service but because of her accuraccy. Thanks MAS. But i did dissapointed with MAYBANK

i think i have to work on my anger management

2008-11-29T05:26:00.000-08:00

my patience has come almost to the limit. Pardon me if i sound like ... like what? i'm not sure... i tried so many times to edit my HK trip entry .. especially the photos order ... but it seems not working or ended up all my photos disappeared... so i decided to just leave it like that ... so please forgive me if the photos didn't synchronized with my stories after this...

the stories... maybe i'll type it tonite or later .. depends on my mood and this pc... the internet really gonna kill my patience...

Picnic at Pangsun on 23 Nov 2008

2008-11-26T22:21:00.000-08:00

I will skip the HK trip entry for a while. until i feel right to continue it... for the time being i just want to write about our picnic at Sg Pangsun, Ulu langat held on Sunday - 23 Nov 2008.

It was participated by whole accounts department staffs and families together with few Productions staffs and families. They were 6 families with 6 bachelors joint the picnic. The picnic was great. The water is so clear and nice. As soon as we reach there my son went straight away into the water. He enjoyed it very much . We grilled some lambs, chickens and fishes. There were lots of foods on that day. Everybody contributed something for the picnic. We reach the picnic area at 9 am. We left at 2pm.

My kids enjoyed the water very much. most of the kids did. i never imagine that there's a picnic area not for from here. and it's great. I forgot to bring my camera.. so i'm waiting for other colleagues if they snapped something on that day.. i'll make sure i won't forget to bring the camera again... it's a lost for me...

we planned to go to Bukit Tinggi on 10 january 2009. But unfortunately only one apartment with 2 bedrooms available. we just grabbed it. it something than nothing. so until the next event ... just wait...

Arrghh

2008-11-26T22:12:00.000-08:00

actually i wrote 4 paragraphs of HK Trip 12-16 Nov entry. but it ended up dissappeared.. so i'm not in the mood to rewrite something for that entry... so until i feel like doing it ... just wait

Hong Kong Trip 12-16 Nov 2008

2008-11-25T21:24:00.000-08:00

It's been more than a week after we came back from HK. I'm not really in mood to write actually, that's the reason of kept delaying this entry. I have no particular reason of not being in mood. just like too lazy and have no idea to write.

Conversations between us

2008-11-08T07:22:00.000-08:00

I still heavy with emotion thinking about this fiction. It's great. i'm not pretty sure about the author. i don't know who is he/she. but what i can say is the story is great. i started to read it at office. and i just couldn't stop reading it until the office hours ended. i continued at home. i finally finished it at 2am. but why must the hero died? but i did expected it from the beginning, but the story was too good for me to stop in the middle so, i continued reading it even though i can assume the ending. the plot and storyline were great. i can felt the characters' emotions.

i just can imagine the whole story, if it is going to be fillmed i will watch it again even though i read about it once. i think i can read it one more time, but i've to prepare to cry. yesterday i just hold my emotion, i cried but still under control. i watched this kdrama once it's quite the same but totally different. The Tree in heaven. the hero also a gangster and ended up to be killed. aah.

do u understand the feeling after u finished watching or reading something. it's ended. i felt empty inside. i felt very quiet around me even though there are lot of peoples around. it will take at least a week before i return to my normal self... until then....

my dream house

2008-11-08T07:01:00.000-08:00

ahahhha ... 2-3 years back, i never imagine to visit showroom of a house amounting RM500k. even few weeks back, i did tell my husband let's buy house ranging 200-300K. but last week we've visited one semi-d house area our current house. It got 5 rooms with 3 bathrooms. but last week we didn't know the price. today, we went back to that house, snapping pictures and looking around. Before we left, we found one house with the owner's number. He wanted to sell it at RM550K. my husband called his friend who just bought a new house cost RM6++K. He took RM500K loan. It will cost him RM3500/mth for 30 years. It's accumulated to RM1.2M. Wow!!!! My husband said the area is nice and house worth that price, if we like it so much, he'll take it. Afterwards we supposed to buy new compass for our trip next week, on the way to the shop we found one corner lot they wanted to sell it at RM350K and they said they got another one smaller than the one we saw with the price of RM250K. maybe it's sound cheap but i think even the space must be smaller. Our current apartment got 5 rooms with three bathrooms. we used to live with a lot of rooms, so it will be uncomfortable to live in the small house. so we passed through Jusco before i saw new signboard of new launch house. we called them. it's phase three, the person in charged said that the phase three has not been launched yet, but they still got phase one that is going to be finished by early of next year. the cost is RM548K. They got 6 rooms and 6 bathrooms. we were shocked after hearing it. 6 rooms and 6 bathrooms? 40'x80'. Wow!!! ...the cost is almost the same with the one we just saw. But their show room had close for today. so we can visit tomorrow. but we're around the area, we decided to see the house. the first route to the house was closed. so we try another route and house is awesome!! i'll snap the pictures tomorrow. it's gorgeous. looks exclusive. so RM548K is not questionable. since the door was already closed, i peeked through the windows and sliding door, the hall is long, and they got attached kitchen , i thought that's the only kitchen they have, but i went back to the backyard and found out they also got another kitchen-separated with door, they also got one more room behind and a bathroom. i went back to the front, to find out that they also got another room with attached bathroom. i'll see upstairs tomorrow. i'll post the picture until then.

alam sanctuary semi-d (6 rooms 6 bathrooms + 1 store)

second floor hall second floor

bedroom no 2 & 3 - second floor

bathrooms for bedrooms no 2&3 second floor

bathroom - master bedroom

master bedroom - equal to 2 bedrooms size at current apt

maid bathroom & bedroom

i managed to snapped only these pictures since i took them w/out permission. but the interior was awesome, that we're currently thinking how to buy that house.

PUJ 9 - 5 bedrooms 3 bathrooms

Bandar Seri Putra - 6 bedrooms 5 bathrooms

my blood pressure 90/50

2008-11-08T06:50:00.000-08:00

it seems so long since i've got low BP. normally i got it during my pregnancy. but not now. recently, my bp had been measured at 90/50. my normal bp was 110/70. No wonder i felt dizzy and had headache almost everyday since 2 weeks ago. i didn't expect it would be that bad. but, the strange thing is why the doctor gave me only one day rest if the bp is that low? maybe she wanted me to get lower Bp before she give me 2-3 days rest. normally if my husband got high Bp the doctor will give him at least 2 days off. i am so unlucky. i'm not sure about my bp rite now. tomorrow i'll go to check it again. i just want to be healthy. i ate every healthy food. but why i am not as healthy as the food i ate. i think i will take more supplement pills afterwards. i am 30. maybe i look young to the people around me, but i know my body very well. if i'm not being careful with it, i'm afraid that i am not as energetic and healthy as i should be.

just want to stay healthy.

what's wrong with harris?

2008-11-04T18:10:00.000-08:00

It's been more than a week since harris behaved strangely. can i call it strange? he seems more attach to me lately. He even didn't allow me to go to work... he said that K Ani (maid) will scold him. Part of me can't believe it since harris likes to overreact .. but the other part of me can't deny it ... since ... i wasn't at home .. so how could i knew if anything happen to him... did she really scold my little son... i can only pray for him ... that nothing unfortunate would happen to my kids ....

Or maybe he started to feel lonely being at home alone .. wth only K Ani .. Azrah will only arrive home at 1pm... even when azrah'z back, she only be by herself ... play all the girl things... poor harris... some times i do feel like quitting the job... just to stay at home with them... Insya Allah .. hopefully latest in 5 years time... i will be able to do so.

He cried every morning recently, previously i would take him to go around the apartment before i departed to work... but i couldn't do it anymore since he cried worse when he's in my car ... so it would delay my journey ... 2 weeks ago i brought him to the office since he couldn't stop crying at all ... ended up i've been complained by one of the staff ... because he's too noisy ... poor harris ... sometimes i felt mad .. when it's come to my kid .. they did this to me... this is my first time brought my kid to the office during office hour ... i did it because we had a jamuan raya on that day ... if it normal working days... i wouldn't. i sent him back during lunch time...

the same happened when we planned to go to Kl Pavilion without kids... ended up .. we brought them even thought it's hard to control Harris ... but he really enjoyed going out with us..

yesterday my husband said ... look at harris ... he couldn't stay still even for a minute ... from morning till night he just play.. jumped... and did all the power rangers action ... but he couldn't seems to look tired...

this morning i told him.. harris mama has to go to work... next week we're going to hong kong .. so mama has to collect a lot of money so that we can go to HK... but he still cried. it's make my heart hurt actually ... to see him crying like that ... he also asked where did his father went to? i said .. abah gi keje harris... he replied to me ... abah g keje lime je ( meaning that most of the time abah went to work .. so did i..) ... it's really hurt me to see him like that ...

here's harris...

Korean food craze?

2008-11-03T07:34:00.000-08:00

We went to KL Pavilion again last weekend? why? cuz i really want to eat bibimbap again. i ate bibimbap and bbq beaf only. azrah and harris ate ipoh hor fan soup, nae ate curry mee? this time, we purposely went there to eat. we didn't buy anything else other than food.

last week we bought books at Times and ate ice cream at Baskin Robbin. this time, we also went to eat baskin robbin's ice cream but not to the book store. Nae met her chatting friend Nikkii. She's here for holiday. she's a nice girl. i'm shocked to know that she's only 17. she looks matured.

we just ate and walking ... nothing to buy specifically. but while we're having our lunch, there were two korean guys sitting next to us. both of them are working here as fitness trainers. They look like trainer with their bodies. We had a chit chat while we're eating. One of them is quite fluent in english .i'm not sure about another guy, since he seems more quiet. But i forgot to take their photos. My husband even said the other one who talk lesser, looks like a korean star ... i agreed with that .. he does look like one.

here's our photo from last week visit : deepavali weekend

Here are photos taken on last weekend :

Here are korean foods i ate last weekend, bibimbap and beef bbq

deepavali weekend

2008-10-28T22:20:00.000-07:00

we (me, wan, azrah, harris n nae) went to kl pavilion on saturday .. ended up i've spent almost RM800. i bought facial skian care products at Faceshop .. wan and kids bought books .. we ate at Korean stall ... we ordered

1 bibimbap (stone mixed rice) - very delicious even though it's hot ...don't have any different with the one we had in Korea

Beef BBQ - we couldn't had it in Korea since it's nonhalal .. but it's taste great here... so we don't know the diff ... but even the octopus bbq in Korea was also great.

Duppoki - it was made from rice flour ... but the taste in Korea was lot better than here...

korean Pan Cake - even though we had not eaten it in Korea .. it's taste great .. but the one we had at North Korean Restaurant is lot better than this...

Kimchi Soup - it's taste better in Korea...

but unfortunattely i forgot ta snap pictures of those foods ... why? because i'm so excited to eat ...i was terribly hungry at that time... but here i post the one we had in Korea ...

this is steam boat .... best gak ... this one we had in Korea for the first meal when we arrived in Seoul

later we had iced coffee at coffee bean .. it's seems that the pictures can't been iploaded .. i'll try in new entry

it's still Syawal

2008-10-21T22:27:00.000-07:00

today is 22nd day of Syawal ... i've just started Puasa on Monday.. today is my third day ... yesterday got religious class .. the Ustaz said if we joint Qada' n Puasa 6 ... only one will be rewarded ... it'll likely Qada' since it's the prime intention .... i'm sad coz... it's only 7 days left before Syawal end... i have to Qada' 8 days ..i did it two ... left 6 more days ... i thought if i could combine it together .. i envy whoever could complete full month like jah this year n add another 6 more days on Syawal...yesterday the Ustaz told me the reason why fasting a month in Ramadhan plus 6 days in Syawal equivalent to a year .. because during life after death ... 1 day here equivalent to 10 days so 36 days of fasting equivalent to 360 days .. it's means a year ... so now only i knew about this...

There were many open house held during weekends .. last weekend i attended 6 houses ... we did't have to cook at all during weekend these days... today i also got one dinner invitation .. it's not really a dinner it's more to family gathering since one of my husband's cousin gonna fly back to UK this monday .. so we're having family gath actually since most of us can't make it on this weekend .. i declined so many open house invitation on this Saturday since i want to go out with my husband and sister ... it's been a while since we're having our own time ... so this saturday ... we're going to KL Pavilion for the second time .. i.m not pretty sure what i'm looking for there ... but most probably i want to eat Korean Food again and maybe looking for a couple of books ... and i want to buy new HP ..

Here are some pictures taken on last Sunday at our Cousin's house in Nilai ...

My nose is still like this!!!

2008-10-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

My ulcers already disappeared, but my nose is still the same... i can't breathe properly ... sometimes i've to breathe through mouth .. it's really uncomfortable... but i think that i've to be thankful since i can eat now...plus i can sleep early ... if i'm healthy, most of times would be in front of pc. Now i got to sleep by 10pm.

We went to my aunt's open house on Sunday ... there's a lot of foods ... but the most atttracting dish was Masak Lemak Cili Padi Ikan Tenggiri. it was super duper delicious. i ate three times ... hahahah .. even though my ulcers was not fully cured that time, but i managed to eat that day. I am really thankful. Alhamdulillah.

Not really well again .. it's been two days since i've got a terrible headache. It's really burdensome. My son is getting better. but my daughter seems to have flu lately.

Yesterday i got a call from her teacher, it's 1pm at that time. i still remember the way she talked. it's almost killing me. The way she started her conversation really make my heart pounded.

Teacher : Puan, tadi masa hantar azrah balik, sebelum dia naik lif

.. and she stopped there.. that's when my heart pounded and then she continued

kawan dia lontar kasut kena hidung dia. boleh tolong check tak dengan maid Puan wether she's okay or not.

Me : Ooo i c. ok .. i'll check on her. thanks

The reason why i trembled was i knew very well the elevator location, how other drivers recklessly drove near the lift and how the kids just ran out from the elevator and the car. And the prime reason was how the teacher started the conversation. The only thing that i want and never forget to pray everyday is my kids safety. It's all i want. It's ok if my daughter got no 3 in her class. It's ok if she couldn't finish her homework. It's also ok if she didn't want to attend school. Just let them be safe and healthy.

Even Harris looks thinner nowadays due to flu, cough and fever. I pity my kids since i'm also not in a good condition, i spent less time with them lately. Fortunately my husband is still off shift until tomorrow.

i want to try uploading apicture here .. but i don't know how... which button should i press? let's try this .. maybe the photo will not relate to ths entry.. just a trial..

me at home on weekend

2008-10-11T03:39:00.000-07:00

it's saturday ... and i'm at home ... slept twice already for a day....
i've got two open house invitations... but neither of them i managed to go .. my son got a cough and flu... and i'm also not in a good cond... i've got sore throat, blocking nose and three ulcers in my mouth that really kill my appetite... i lost a kilo in a week due to this... last three days .. i couldn't even eat anything at all...

tomorrow.. there's another open houes and it's my aunt... it wouldn't be nice if i couldn't show up... so i'll try my best to be there ... whether i can eat or not .. it's another story.... as long as i've to be there to respect the invitation and the elders...

but i think maybe it's because i ate too much on the first two days of hari raya ... i ate so many kind of foods... most of them were greasy ... it's resulted to my sore throat ... my ulcers... i never can get away from it once i'm at my hometown ... maybe because it's too hot there .. or maybe because it's too near to the beach ... the air is very dry there ....

my hari raya was doing fine... on the first day .. we wore purple clothes ... we supposed to wear green ... since my sister in law only joint us on the second day, we wore the green one on the second day ... purposely for the photo shoot... even though my sister in law's family wore red on that day... however ... this hari raya was fun to me...

it's nice every time i could visit my mother-in-law hometown in rembau... i really love kampung scenery and ambience ... the foods were delicious... even though i only manage to visit them once in two years ... but i really enjoyed it.... 7 years back... i couldn't even understand what they're talking about ... their dialect are so unique - minang ... however i understand it very well now even i couldn't speak the dialect very well...

my fav foods from rembau ... definitely their home made lemang, kuah kacang, rendang ... and this hari raya .. i found new dish... rendang maman ... waaa it's so delicious... waaa... i have to wait another two years to find those dishes again....

at my hometown ... i couldn't manage to eat much this hari raya since ... the sore throat was already with me once i got there ... but surprisingly ... all my younger sisters were not doing fine for the whole hari raya ... i thought it just our family but when i was back to the office ... most of my office mates even my boss were not doing fine....

But we were able to hold a bbq party(was it a party?) It was so nice since everybody was there.. we grilled more than three kilos of fish, chickens.. sausages, prawns and squid... all the seafoods were fresh. just been brought back by the fishermen...they were deliciuos ate with air asam.... wow!!!

however ... i managed to finish my mgmt acc for sept at 7.15pm yesterday ... how fortunate...i've three more reports to be done and submitted by the end of next week... fighting azihan

I miss my friends

2008-09-16T10:23:00.000-07:00

last weekend met Marlin .... coursemate cum college mate cum study mate ...
she's 4 months pregnant ... looking at her .. remembered our memories back then during Ramadhan at UUM. We shared our meal, everybody will take turn to buy food for break fast ... i miss those days...

few days back ... got a forwarded email from Ida Hartini .... i thought last year was the last time i contact her... but after had a conversation with her this night ... i just found out that it was 2 years back... how i didn't even realize that...

plan to hold Hari Raya open house later to call all old friends gather at my house.

until then

today is 17th of september

2008-09-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

the past 2 days ..i've been quite emotional ... why? again ... miss good old days .. how fast the time flies ... i'm 30 ..

yesterday was 16th ... rumours of new government didn't happen... i'm not sure what i'm expecting but i'm just afraid... why Malaysia in this condition and situation ... like Raja Muda Perak said ... they should cooperate ... what's wrong with everyone... what happened with Malaysian ...

i don't want to support or condemn any side ... coz i'm not sure now... what's gonna happen next?

my pray ...

Bless us Allah
Bless our country
Guide us

May Allah will always bless us

Matta Fair n i'm sick

2008-09-10T20:10:00.000-07:00

Sat - 7/9/08 - went to Matta Fair at 11 am ... looking around from 12 pm till 7.45 pm... end up... we bought package to HK & HK Disneyland and Kuching ... habis la +/- RM9k ,... mulanya nak ambik trip ke eastern europe sbb fly emirates ade special offer ... RM5999 per pax all in ... covers 4 countries and most outstanding places i want to visit ... vienna, prague, sazlburg, munich mana lagi ntah lupa dah since aku tak dpt pegi... overbudget for 4 pax ... nak gi Japan pun sama gak ... almost RM16K .. our budget is RM12K only... ended up HK and Kuching ... so Bandung was listed out since the iar ticket is quite expensive up to Feb ... so maybe next Matta ... HK .. at first want to bring Nae along but then it's difficult since we have to pay for the full payment of one room... pity her ... but i'll bring her somewhere soon ... i want to save money now... so that i can go to eastern europe next winter .... 2009/2010 ...

balik dr Matta Fair .. buka puasa kat situ je .. habis RM35 for sepiring mee goreng yg secoet je aku ambik.. plus one mneral water, one pie, and one coffee .....

then for the first time sampai kat KL Pavilion ... looking for Korean Cuisine ... finally jumpala after craving for it since came back from visiting Korea... dpt makan Duepokki ... but the taste is not quite the same... the BBQ beef is nice ... but the soybean soup... even at Korea ... i can't eat any of their soup... either it sea weed or others ... it's not up to my taste ...

bought few t-shirts for Harris ... nice and quite exp for him... but i think this is the first time we bought him exp clothes... compared to azrah ... normally she would get all the exp items... so this year .. both of them got it... so it's fair ...

went back home after leaving the kids for almost 12 hours...

the next day went back to Matta Fair .. ingat nak masukkan nama Nae ... but x dpt ... bad mood after that... went to Low yatt ... bought new CPU ... new softwares .. new printer n a MP3 player for azrah ... akhirnya .. balik sblm kul 3.. asked my husband to install everything before 4 while i went to Jusco to buy Groceries ... we almost buy new Monitor when our current Monitor don't have suitable port to be connected with new CPU ... luckily the shopper my husband went to told him that they also sell the converter ... we save RM500 for RM 5 item....

try to watch WGM online but right before the show started it's couldn't been connected ... frustrated i ended up sleeping until 7 pm ... woke up for Break fast ...

after Maghrib ... went to Jusco again to buy new Jeans for Wan ... he ended up bought two pairs ... went back to watch WGM w/out sub ... it's already on the YT .. how fast ... thanks to the uploaders .... it's brighten up my day...

Wednesday - 10/9/08 ... got a flu ... lay down in bed for the whole day ...

Merdeka n Ramadhan kat Kampungku...

2008-09-03T02:10:00.000-07:00

Went back to my hometown for 4 days.... it's been 3 months since my last visit.

The first day .... at the moment i reached home... the first target was Kitchen.... heheheh ... there were asam pedas, sayur lemak, rendang daging, ikan kerisi goreng, petai n tempoyak... my husband ate first ... while he's eating ... my father came told us to eat outside together with the whole family... it's 4 pm ... they didn't took their lunch yet at the time we arrived.... we ate together then... i ate two plates back then.... my eldest sister currently 2 months pregnant couldn't eat at all.. pity her... she's envy me coz i could finish two plates of rice ....

late afternoon ... went to the beach ... brought the kids and accompany my husband to jog.... it's really refreshing to breath with the sea breeze.... saw the sunset ...

night ... went to dentist ....

the next day .... Merdeka Day ...

we woke up early morning ... went for a jogging at 6.30am... siap lumba lari lagi ... skali spek patah ... hehehhe tengok sunrise lepas tu balik breakfast ... breakfast nasi dagang ada .. nasi minyak ada... roti canai ada ... put sambal ada ...

lepas tu pergi bandar nak buat spek .. dah berkenan ngan satu spek tapi ... diorg tak leh siap within 2 days... terpaksala beli contact lens... pakai contact lens merayau gi pasar payang... makan meehoon sup kat atas pasar ... beli kain sutera 5 pasang ... konon utk jual... tapi tak taula blh jual ke tak...

balik rumah makan nasi.. mak masak ... petang dah tak larat ... wan bawak bebudak gi pantai ... aku? basuh baju pakai tangan kat telaga ... siap mak musykil aku tau lagi timba air dr telaga... aku kalau blk kg mmg suka basuh kat telaga .. tak kalut air paip sikit n cepat... 2 besen aku settlekan dlm masa sejam ... malam layan WGM kat youtube... wpun takde sub lg... gelak sakan gak aku... sweetnye joongbo...

sahur pagi tu .. makan apa erk? aku dah lupa...

buka puasa .. mak tak nak masak ... first day beli lauk ... ada tomyam .. gulai ayam , ikan golek yg x berapa best... yg indah rupa dr rasa ... abah beli sayur air keladi ... abg long beli lauk evergreen kat umah tu tiap kali puasa ... ikan siakap sweet sour ... kerabu taugeh .. apa lagi erk... yg pasti penuh la satu tikar...

second day puasa ... azrah puasa ... dia ok je sampai la kul 7 .. br bising2 nak makan ... suruh dia tunggu brape minit je lagi... buka that day ... ada tomyam dan kacang goreng ngan hati .. lain2 bli sikit2... pun penuh juugak last2

third day... lepas sahur .. terus siap2... lepas subuh btolak g airport ... ngantuk gell.. langit cerah je kat TRg ... sampai kat KL.. dah hujan ... dr airport balik umah tukar baju... terus gi keje ... penat woooooo...

tak sabar nak balik raya plak

buka p

by election - Permatang Pauh

2008-08-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

seriously.... what do i expect from the result?

i just want the best for myself ... my country and everybody...
i just want to live in peace n harmony....

i'm hoping that the fuel price will go down again....
i'm also hoping that the individual tax rates will be lower...
i'm hoping that whenever my kids or me myself or my relatives got sick... i don't have to wait for hours at GH with "a very polite answer and service" from not even a doctor....

i just hope that i can hear a very rationale news
i just hope that malay won't fight with chinese and indians
i just hope that chinese won't fight with malay and indians ..
i also hope that indian won't fight with malay and chinese..

i just hope that 51st Independance Day will be a turning point for Malaysia

to become a better Malaysia...
to become a wiser Malaysian...
to be a competitive country ....

so that ... our MYR will go up....
our Cost of living will go down....
and we have a better life.....

these are all i want from the by-election.... is it possible to happen?

we're moving forward...

2008-08-25T23:12:00.000-07:00

last week.... our house loan finally credited to our accounts... we've been dealing with all our debts on thursday... first we went CIMB ... to settle my CCard debts...then we went to LTH to settle my parents in law's Haji matters ... it's quite .. can i say ... complicated? not exactly ... more to frustrated.... however my husband and i manage to control ourselves... just let it be... hopefully it gonna be better afterwards... without settling matters related to Haji, we went to Bank Islam to settle my husband Ccard debts... it's settled withing 20 minutes..next we went to Bank Rakyat ... to settle our personal loan took 6 years ago... while we're just started our marriage life.... next we went to Bandar Damansar looking for PTPTN... we parked there for 15 minutes cost us RM6 to find out that the payment cannot been done there, we've been told to go to their One Stop Center at KL Sentral ... We went there, after i've printed my latest statement from their webpage located at the Center, we wait for our turn... when we say that we're gonna settle our study loan, they asked us to wait ... they're going to recalculate together with the adjustment for the new or latest balance... i thought we might got some rebate to make full settlement... after more than an hour of waiting, my name has been called... i've been hot enough to endure long waiting, they make me angrier with the new balance they calculated... the first statement i've printed from their webpage showed that my loan balance was RM 13,583... their adjustment statement showed that i owed them RM17,968 .... diff of RM4,400 something.... i couldn't control myself at all... i curse PTPTN of course ... how come they gave me two different balance within a day .... their explaination was that they haven't included any administration Charges (4%) per year since 2000. is that my mistake? i don't think so... if its their mistake why should i've been the one who supposed to bear the responsibility? my husband refuse to pay ... it seems to us like we've been paying for the interest only since 2003.... my husband argued how come PTPTN not showing us the exact figure ... we don't mind to pay RM 17K ... but if the statement mailed to us showed RM13.5K ... are we nut to pay more than that.... my husband argued for quite sometimes... he waited at the counter until he can talk with the officer in charge ... even after the conversation he had with the officer in charge ... we couldn't had any answer.... we stepped out just like that without paying any single cent to them... finally we went to Ctbank to settle my husband last CCard.... finally ... we settle most our burden for the past 6-7 years.... we've started new now.... while we're wandering around Ampang Park... the person in charge from PTPTN called my husband ... she said that they've miscalculated it... after recalculated... the balance now is RM15+++ ..... my husband didn't say anything .. just asked her to fax the new statement to us.... now we've got 3 statement with different balances.... which one we should pay? my choice... must be the lowest one.... however... my husband wants to fight it ... it's not that we don't wanna pay... but it's their mistake and their carelessness ... they want us to bear it... no way... they got the wrong person ..... not me... not us....

Misi Mencari Diri

2008-08-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

What a title.... looking at the title... i'm afraid of myself?
it's true that i'm no longer know what's my routine now...
i miss my old days.... when i didn't even have time to think about these at all...

i tried to do something that can cheer me up... but it's just for a moment... after that
i was depressed again

it's been a year since i felt so demotivated with my work... now it became worse ..
currently i'm demotivated with myself ....

suddenly .... i'm angry!!!!! ... so i better stop here.... something came up at home which i hate the most .....

me n my monologue....

2008-08-12T22:26:00.000-07:00

today,i felt heavy in my heart.... i tried not talk too much afraid of i will shed my tears.. i'm terrible depressed... with myself... what i'm gonna do about this? .... it's not anybody fault except for me...

at the moment, i felt very lonely ... even though there's lot of people around me ... i just felt like i'm alone in this wide world.... help me....

i want to have my own time for the moment ... to know myself, to treasure myself more.... ... the tears is coming down again... better stop here....

i just wanna cry

2008-08-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

i'm 30now.... what have i done in this life for the past 30 years? the only thing i can proud of was i've got 7 in my SPM.

i couldn't remember anything special during my childhood days....

the person who i used to call a best friend was no longer get in touch with me even though i've tried to cntact her....

do i have a best friend in mylife? when the time passes... i realized who is the real friend....

for tonite...just let me cry..

i'm 30
yet i don'tknow who am i
what have i done

at the age of 30
what can i bep roud ofmyself?
not even a singlething...
i'm not good in every thing i've done....

i'm not a good cook
i'mnot a good employee...
i'm nota good subbordinate
i'm not a good superior
i'm not a good daughter
i'm not a good mother
i'm not a good wife
i'm not good at English...

i wasn't good at my study

i hope that 30 will change me....
to be a better person...
hopefully there's chance for me to work for it

just let me cry.....

i am 30 now.....

2008-08-11T23:42:00.000-07:00

aaaaaaaaaaaaa.... what's the meaning for that expression? i don't feel like i'm 30 .... i just want to live like i want ... normally when i'm walking alone without the kids... most of the people thought that i'm at early 20s.... i'm no longer 20s... a lot of thingking came to my mind for the past 1 year... i think that at the end of my 20s... i've got lot of deprression... do anybody know why? ... but i don't think i'm the only person feel like that... most of my friend did... i just want to live normal... without a single sigh afterwards.... but it's likely imposibble.... please help me....

currently addicted to MBC tv programme name we got married (WGM)... hahahahha ... it's really light up my life for a moment... just hoping that the show will go on for a year so that i've a good memory at 30.

we sent our maid to her aunt's house for two days... we're on our own for two days.... friday nite... i spent more than 5 hours watching the show. while i'm waiting for the serie to be fully buffered .... i fell asleep... i woke up at 6 am to continue watching it.... the next day ... i didn't even go out just to watch that series.... we planned to go to Pavilion KL on that day... but i was really attached to it ... i ended up not sleep at all for the whole day ... i only went to sleep at 11 am the next day which is August 10 ...my birthday..... i didn't realize anything until my kids came at 2.30 pm to wake me up while wishing me Happy Birthday Mama... how sweet when it's came from my llittle son.... cuz he wasn't able to speak fluently yet .... it sounds like hepi befay Mama... hahahahhahah they kissed me... and bought a cake and present fo me.... it's really touched.... my husband didn't wake me up and tell me that they're going out... the kids gave me engraved parker pens ... i'm not sure whether their father chose it or they did it by themselves.... it's engraved 'Azrah luv Mama' and "Ayis luv Mama' on the pens... while my husband bought me bedsheet .... hehheeh ... cuz he knew that i'm really into it.... was it the reason ... or just simply chose that present ... don't want to know... cuz i'm too happy to received the presents....

waaaa.... that's my birthday for this year .... thanks kid and my hubby....

mmmmm

2008-08-05T18:25:00.000-07:00

Went to Northen States 2 weeks ago ... we went to penang for 2 days one night ... stay at my sister's house in Pokok Sena before visit my sister's in law newborn daughter... i purposely chose Hotel in Batu Ferringgi in order to let the kids play with the sand ... however, we only managed to be at the beach not even an hour... my kids prefer to play at hotel's pool... i was also unable to take many pictures since we're really rushing this time... why?we checked in on the July 26 at 2... but the room is not ready yet... we lingered at the lobby for about 45 minutes before we can get into the room... we rest for a while before went back to mainland to fetch my youngest sister at the butterworth bus sttn. we arrived back at the hotel by 8. my husband went for window shopping and shopping at the street night market along the ferringghi Street with harris. My turn came at 10. i went with my sis and daughter.. the night market is awesome.... lot's of things at the affordable price... that's what i was worried about and that's what happenned... we spent almost RM500 just for a night... at the street market only.... the next day ... my husband rushed to george town again to find another street market to buy his lighter for collections... he finally found it ... and he'svery happy coz his mission was accomplished... while he's out... i brought the kids to the swimming pool ... azrah enjoy herself very well... while harris was afraid of water .... like mother like son... he just play by the stairs of the pool... azrah try to hold his hand to bring him further to the middle ... but he just refused.... i wasn't worried about azrah at all... since she can play with anybody... she can communicate well with the locals and foreigners kids. we went to the beach for a while... just to feel the sand .... looking at the ocean ... there's a massage place there.... i wish i can massage my feet... but the time was very tight... i got back to the room by 11 .. called receptionist to extend our check out time but the room is fully booked .. so we can't extend any further and we had checked out by 12 from the hotel... we arrived at Nasi Kandar Subaidah around 1... we had nasi kandar again.. but this time... we took a smaller portion and less lauk .... they charged us RM28.... quite ok.... we drove to towm looking for Chowrasta Market.... fortunately we were able to find it accidenttally. bought jeruk salak and pala for the officemates... to be continued....

aku ade dua blog ...

2008-07-09T23:23:00.000-07:00

which one aku nak activekan? eheeeeh

What Nor Azihan Means

2008-02-01T00:02:00.000-08:00

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience.You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.
What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/