by election - Permatang Pauh

seriously.... what do i expect from the result?

i just want the best for myself ... my country and everybody...
i just want to live in peace n harmony....

i'm hoping that the fuel price will go down again....
i'm also hoping that the individual tax rates will be lower...
i'm hoping that whenever my kids or me myself or my relatives got sick... i don't have to wait for hours at GH with "a very polite answer and service" from not even a doctor....

i just hope that i can hear a very rationale news
i just hope that malay won't fight with chinese and indians
i just hope that chinese won't fight with malay and indians ..
i also hope that indian won't fight with malay and chinese..

i just hope that 51st Independance Day will be a turning point for Malaysia

to become a better Malaysia...
to become a wiser Malaysian...
to be a competitive country ....

so that ... our MYR will go up....
our Cost of living will go down....
and we have a better life.....

these are all i want from the by-election.... is it possible to happen?

we're moving forward...

last week.... our house loan finally credited to our accounts... we've been dealing with all our debts on thursday... first we went CIMB ... to settle my CCard debts...then we went to LTH to settle my parents in law's Haji matters ... it's quite .. can i say ... complicated? not exactly ... more to frustrated.... however my husband and i manage to control ourselves... just let it be... hopefully it gonna be better afterwards... without settling matters related to Haji, we went to Bank Islam to settle my husband Ccard debts... it's settled withing 20 minutes..next we went to Bank Rakyat ... to settle our personal loan took 6 years ago... while we're just started our marriage life.... next we went to Bandar Damansar looking for PTPTN... we parked there for 15 minutes cost us RM6 to find out that the payment cannot been done there, we've been told to go to their One Stop Center at KL Sentral ... We went there, after i've printed my latest statement from their webpage located at the Center, we wait for our turn... when we say that we're gonna settle our study loan, they asked us to wait ... they're going to recalculate together with the adjustment for the new or latest balance... i thought we might got some rebate to make full settlement... after more than an hour of waiting, my name has been called... i've been hot enough to endure long waiting, they make me angrier with the new balance they calculated... the first statement i've printed from their webpage showed that my loan balance was RM 13,583... their adjustment statement showed that i owed them RM17,968 .... diff of RM4,400 something.... i couldn't control myself at all... i curse PTPTN of course ... how come they gave me two different balance within a day .... their explaination was that they haven't included any administration Charges (4%) per year since 2000. is that my mistake? i don't think so... if its their mistake why should i've been the one who supposed to bear the responsibility? my husband refuse to pay ... it seems to us like we've been paying for the interest only since 2003.... my husband argued how come PTPTN not showing us the exact figure ... we don't mind to pay RM 17K ... but if the statement mailed to us showed RM13.5K ... are we nut to pay more than that.... my husband argued for quite sometimes... he waited at the counter until he can talk with the officer in charge ... even after the conversation he had with the officer in charge ... we couldn't had any answer.... we stepped out just like that without paying any single cent to them... finally we went to Ctbank to settle my husband last CCard.... finally ... we settle most our burden for the past 6-7 years.... we've started new now.... while we're wandering around Ampang Park... the person in charge from PTPTN called my husband ... she said that they've miscalculated it... after recalculated... the balance now is RM15+++ ..... my husband didn't say anything .. just asked her to fax the new statement to us.... now we've got 3 statement with different balances.... which one we should pay? my choice... must be the lowest one.... however... my husband wants to fight it ... it's not that we don't wanna pay... but it's their mistake and their carelessness ... they want us to bear it... no way... they got the wrong person ..... not me... not us....

Misi Mencari Diri

What a title.... looking at the title... i'm afraid of myself?
it's true that i'm no longer know what's my routine now...
i miss my old days.... when i didn't even have time to think about these at all...

i tried to do something that can cheer me up... but it's just for a moment... after that
i was depressed again

it's been a year since i felt so demotivated with my work... now it became worse ..
currently i'm demotivated with myself ....

suddenly .... i'm angry!!!!! ... so i better stop here.... something came up at home which i hate the most .....

me n my monologue....

today,i felt heavy in my heart.... i tried not talk too much afraid of i will shed my tears.. i'm terrible depressed... with myself... what i'm gonna do about this? .... it's not anybody fault except for me...

at the moment, i felt very lonely ... even though there's lot of people around me ... i just felt like i'm alone in this wide world.... help me....

i want to have my own time for the moment ... to know myself, to treasure myself more.... ... the tears is coming down again... better stop here....

i just wanna cry

i'm 30now.... what have i done in this life for the past 30 years? the only thing i can proud of was i've got 7 in my SPM.

i couldn't remember anything special during my childhood days....

the person who i used to call a best friend was no longer get in touch with me even though i've tried to cntact her....

do i have a best friend in mylife? when the time passes... i realized who is the real friend....

for tonite...just let me cry..

i'm 30
yet i don'tknow who am i
what have i done

at the age of 30
what can i bep roud ofmyself?
not even a singlething...
i'm not good in every thing i've done....

i'm not a good cook
i'mnot a good employee...
i'm nota good subbordinate
i'm not a good superior
i'm not a good daughter
i'm not a good mother
i'm not a good wife
i'm not good at English...

i wasn't good at my study

i hope that 30 will change me....
to be a better person...
hopefully there's chance for me to work for it

just let me cry.....

i am 30 now.....

aaaaaaaaaaaaa.... what's the meaning for that expression? i don't feel like i'm 30 .... i just want to live like i want ... normally when i'm walking alone without the kids... most of the people thought that i'm at early 20s.... i'm no longer 20s... a lot of thingking came to my mind for the past 1 year... i think that at the end of my 20s... i've got lot of deprression... do anybody know why? ... but i don't think i'm the only person feel like that... most of my friend did... i just want to live normal... without a single sigh afterwards.... but it's likely imposibble.... please help me....

currently addicted to MBC tv programme name we got married (WGM)... hahahahha ... it's really light up my life for a moment... just hoping that the show will go on for a year so that i've a good memory at 30.

we sent our maid to her aunt's house for two days... we're on our own for two days.... friday nite... i spent more than 5 hours watching the show. while i'm waiting for the serie to be fully buffered .... i fell asleep... i woke up at 6 am to continue watching it.... the next day ... i didn't even go out just to watch that series.... we planned to go to Pavilion KL on that day... but i was really attached to it ... i ended up not sleep at all for the whole day ... i only went to sleep at 11 am the next day which is August 10 ...my birthday..... i didn't realize anything until my kids came at 2.30 pm to wake me up while wishing me Happy Birthday Mama... how sweet when it's came from my llittle son.... cuz he wasn't able to speak fluently yet .... it sounds like hepi befay Mama... hahahahhahah they kissed me... and bought a cake and present fo me.... it's really touched.... my husband didn't wake me up and tell me that they're going out... the kids gave me engraved parker pens ... i'm not sure whether their father chose it or they did it by themselves.... it's engraved 'Azrah luv Mama' and "Ayis luv Mama' on the pens... while my husband bought me bedsheet .... hehheeh ... cuz he knew that i'm really into it.... was it the reason ... or just simply chose that present ... don't want to know... cuz i'm too happy to received the presents....

waaaa.... that's my birthday for this year .... thanks kid and my hubby....

mmmmm

Went to Northen States 2 weeks ago ... we went to penang for 2 days one night ... stay at my sister's house in Pokok Sena before visit my sister's in law newborn daughter... i purposely chose Hotel in Batu Ferringgi in order to let the kids play with the sand ... however, we only managed to be at the beach not even an hour... my kids prefer to play at hotel's pool... i was also unable to take many pictures since we're really rushing this time... why?we checked in on the July 26 at 2... but the room is not ready yet... we lingered at the lobby for about 45 minutes before we can get into the room... we rest for a while before went back to mainland to fetch my youngest sister at the butterworth bus sttn. we arrived back at the hotel by 8. my husband went for window shopping and shopping at the street night market along the ferringghi Street with harris. My turn came at 10. i went with my sis and daughter.. the night market is awesome.... lot's of things at the affordable price... that's what i was worried about and that's what happenned... we spent almost RM500 just for a night... at the street market only.... the next day ... my husband rushed to george town again to find another street market to buy his lighter for collections... he finally found it ... and he'svery happy coz his mission was accomplished... while he's out... i brought the kids to the swimming pool ... azrah enjoy herself very well... while harris was afraid of water .... like mother like son... he just play by the stairs of the pool... azrah try to hold his hand to bring him further to the middle ... but he just refused.... i wasn't worried about azrah at all... since she can play with anybody... she can communicate well with the locals and foreigners kids. we went to the beach for a while... just to feel the sand .... looking at the ocean ... there's a massage place there.... i wish i can massage my feet... but the time was very tight... i got back to the room by 11 .. called receptionist to extend our check out time but the room is fully booked .. so we can't extend any further and we had checked out by 12 from the hotel... we arrived at Nasi Kandar Subaidah around 1... we had nasi kandar again.. but this time... we took a smaller portion and less lauk .... they charged us RM28.... quite ok.... we drove to towm looking for Chowrasta Market.... fortunately we were able to find it accidenttally. bought jeruk salak and pala for the officemates... to be continued....